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As clean, punctual, and safe as Japan’s trains may be, riding them during rush hour usually isn’t a particularly pleasant experience, when passengers are packed in at extremely close proximity to one another. In their search for anything to make the experience a little more tolerable, some people will latch onto any positive they can find, such as a mere hint of romance in a chance encounter with an attractive fellow commuter.

This week, one woman’s heart skipped a beat as she found herself the sudden, if unintentional, recipient of a kabe-don on her morning ride to work. But while she could easily tell the man bracing himself with one arm against the wall behind her was a handsome stranger, she didn’t know that his full description should also include “prone to fantasies of ridiculous violence.”

It seems as though the two didn’t exchange a single word during their ride, but we can thank the Twitter Sokuho account for helping us put the pieces together with two tweets sent around the same time that appear to be giving both sides of the story.

On June 10 at 8:01 in the morning, the woman (whose Twitter screen name has been redacted), excitedly sent out a tweet saying:

“Oh my God, a really hot guy is giving me a kabe-don on the train! I can’t stop smiling!”

This is actually a fairly plausible scenario. Given how crowded rush hour trains are, it’s not unusual to find yourself in a position where the only way to keep your balance is to kabe-don a stranger, and while the man may not have felt any particular attraction towards the woman, it’s not too hard to understand how she might get an innocent rush from Japan’s trendiest anime and manga-inspired romantic gesture.

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But since the man and woman were standing so close together, apparently he could see what she was tweeting with her phone. We don’t think she’d have been filled with such girlish glee if she’d been privy to the man’s internal monologue, which seems to have been revealed in a different tweet (with the user name once again redacted) which went out 14 minutes later.

“The train is so crowded I have to brace my hand against the wall, and the woman in front of me is saying ‘I’m getting a kabe-don’ on Twitter. Would it be OK if I beat the hell out of her?

We should point out that while we went with “beat the hell out of her” you could also translate the man’s words, buchi korosu, as “kick her ass” or, if you want to keep the translation literal, “beat her to death.” And he wasn’t done, as he continued his Twitter rant with:

“Give me a break. I’m doing all I can to not touch you by putting my hand on the wall. Hey, dumb girl who doesn’t have a clue, look at this tweet. Come on look at it look at it look at it look at it look at it…”

We’re not exaggerating, by the way. He really felt the need to repeat himself five times. But hey, we suppose there’s no such thing as overacting when someone has the gall to refer to you as “hot” on social media if the feeling isn’t mutual, right?

Hopefully, we can all come away from this a little wiser, with the knowledge that not everyone giving you a kabe-don has a crush on you, that even good-looking individuals can be terrible people, and that real life and anime are, in fact, very different.

Source: Twitter
Top image: Piorimu
Insert image: FC2