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As a man, I have to admit that sometimes we can be a little confusing. Why do we do weird things like try to flavor food with burps, or lock iPhones with our butts? There are some mysteries that may never be solved.

But one Japanese Twitter user thinks they’ve found a list of 18 things that apply to pretty much every man, especially concerning relationships. Will this list help decode the confusing “man brain,” or is it just a mass of macho mumbo jumbo? Read on and decide for yourself!

Here’s the original tweet made by Japanese Twitter user @Jyo_4, with the translation below. The original author of the list is unclear, but they apparently have a lot to say about how men act in relationships:

https://twitter.com/Jyo_4/status/648561320992739328

The typical man…

1) …is very happy when a woman sitting next to him on the train falls asleep on his shoulder.

2) …would love for the girls who he’s friends with to be more than just friends.

3) …believes that no matter how cute a woman is when she uses makeup, if she’s ugly without it, then she’s just ugly no matter what.

4) …doesn’t “want” to get married, but “has” to get married.

5) …can’t stand a cunning woman.

6) …regrets going to see a prostitute after he’s done.

7) …is most excited for sex right before it happens, then loses interest partway through.

8) …when asked by a woman 30 or older “how do you guess a woman’s age?” will respond with “by what she talks about,” but his real answer is “by how her skin looks.”

9) …loses most of his sex drive after age 20.

10) …however for some reason still likes 32-year-old wives of other men past that point.

11) …thinks that a beef bowl at Yoshinoya or burger at McDonald’s is fine for a lunch date.

12) …does it because he won’t get full from some fancy pasta or anything.

13) …thinks it’s okay for him to cheat, but would never forgive his girlfriend if she cheated on him.

14) …is annoyed by women except for the one he’s into.

15) …has low standards for a woman he’d sleep with, but high standards for a woman he’d make his girlfriend.

16) …loves to talk to gyaru and other tough women, but doesn’t want to go out with them.

17) …will not notice if a woman has pictures painted on her nails.

18) …goes after women because he only has two choices, men or women, but might forget all about women if there was a third choice.

Personally, I’m not sure about the accuracy of most of those items on the list. Perhaps a lot of them could apply to “some” men, but a “typical” man?

…except for number 17 though. That one’s very true. We never notice nails; sorry about that ladies.

However it seems as though I’m in the minority among Japanese netizens. Here’s some of what they had to say:

“Yep. Pretty much.”

“That’s basically spot-on.”

“Who made this? It’s amazing! Especially the one about 32-year-old wives.”

“Hmm… I never thought about it, but it would be nice to have a third choice.”

So what do you think? Does this list sum up most men you know, including yourself perhaps? If so, then maybe that would explain why rent-a-man services in Japan are so popular.

Source: Twitter/@Jyo_4
Featured/top image: Flickr/Istolethetv