Aside from the annual King of RocketNews24 Fighters underground bare-knuckled combat tournament, my job doesn’t require a lot of physical activity. That said, I still often find my stomach rumbling while I’m writing an article if it happens to be about meat, desserts, or some crossover between the two categories.
But I think I just lost my appetite, thanks to this Japanese Twitter user’s miscue in the kitchen and the accompanying photos of the most horrific home cooking imaginable.
Kuesu, who also goes by @_lquestionl_ on Twitter, seems to have a pretty decent kitchen setup. She’s even got those fancy induction cooking surfaces that allow for precise and easy manipulation of the cooking temperature.
What she doesn’t seem to have, however, is any actual aptitude for cooking.
https://twitter.com/_lquestionl_/status/660077858690220032It’s unclear exactly what happened here. Maybe Kuesu left the pan’s contents to cook, then got caught up watching TV or doing something else and forgot she’d left the stove on. Maybe she measured the ingredients wrong. Honestly, based on the visual evidence, we think the most likely explanation is that she was using a haunted cookbook and that covetous specters have claimed her cookware’s soul.
But regardless of what happened, unless she was trying out a new recipe for delicious night terrors, this wasn’t the intended result. Of her cooking skills, Kuesu herself facetiously tweeted that they’re so bad that “O-yome in ikenai,” or “I’ll never be able to become someone’s bride,” a phrase usually reserved for life-shattering transgressions or losses of virtue.
Online commenters weren’t about to cast judgement on her marriage prospects, but they did have the following to say.
“So you started out trying to cook dinner, and ended up making a biological weapon. Yeah, that sort of thing happens.”
“Is that dark matter?”
“It’s like it’s saying, ‘My name is Slime. Let’s be friends!”
“I’ve seen that! It’s the first boss from [grotesque monster-filled video game] Demon Souls.”
So let this be a reminder that life is all about perspective. When your cooking project ends up like this, you can either gnash your teeth at your utter failure at making a meal, or pat yourself on the back for your dazzling success in creating a monster.
Source: Jin, Twitter/@_lquestionl_

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