Our lonely male reporter finds romance, Zen contentment with a pair of stockings

When we forced one of our male reporters into a pair of stockings to celebrate National Stockings Day, we had no idea how much he’d enjoy it…

Did you know May 15 is National Stocking Day in Japan? Neither did we, but when we heard, we immediately knew the only way to celebrate: putting our reporter Yuichiro into a couple of pairs to see how he liked them. And like them he did.

Here’s his report:

I know what you’re thinking. Just hearing that a guy is going to put on stockings probably makes you think there’s something strange about him. And yes, in modern Japan, stockings are generally considered to be something for women.

But that way of thinking is outdated. Or perhaps I should say that those people just haven’t realized the unexpected potential that stockings have to make all kinds of people happy. For example, for those of us who don’t have a girlfriend, the so-called bocchi dansei (lonely single guys), stockings can be extremely useful. Let tell you about this amazing stocking life-hack!

What you need

Stockings, something to remove leg hair (a razor, depilatory cream, etc.)

Instructions

1. Remove your leg hair

It’s fine if you want to use a razor or cream or duct tape or whatever on your leg hair. And if you are the kind of person who isn’t bothered by having people see you with one shaved leg, you only have to do one.

2. Put a stocking on one leg

Being careful not to tear it, put the stocking on your now hair-free leg. This is where things start getting interesting. Having a stocking on just one leg creates a pleasant feeling of contrast between the smooth silkiness of the stocking leg and your naked one. Just be careful that you don’t buy those silly “mantyhose” though or it won’t have the right feminine feel.

3. Cross your legs

With a little bit of imagination, the stockinged leg feels like a girlfriend’s and the naked one is obviously your own! When you start feeling a special glow, you’ll know you are doing it right. Try out a few different poses to see what works best for you.

And that’s it! With this simple lifehack, even bocchi dansei can experience that moment of romantic Zen when your girlfriend’s leg brushes yours. So, I guess it’s kind of like meditation. Yeah, let’s go with that: it’s meditation.

There is one caveat, though. You probably don’t want to let your family see you trying this, as there’s a good chance they may pack you right off to the loony bin. So employ a little stealth in your exploration of the Zen joy of stockings. I’ve no doubt that some of you will be seized with the desire to flaunt your lovely legs, but unless you are a RocketNews24 writer on assignment, try to restrain yourself.

▼ In summary: shave a leg and put a stocking on it

▼ The other side will be in the way, but…

▼ …just slide that under your butt, and voila! A lady leg! Hello, honey.

▼ Suddenly, she’s all over me! Yowza!

▼ Before I can even say anything, my girlfriend(‘s leg) is all over me again!

▼And then there are those days when you just fall exhausted into bed, still partly clothed after… well, you know. And then when you wake up, your girl is spooned against your back.