And that’s even before the sticky liquid starts oozing out of it.
For many meals in Japan, a dish’s presentation is arguably as important as its flavor. Previously, we’ve enjoyed eyeballing edibles that look like anime characters, fireworks, magic spells, and beautiful flowers.
So between our appreciation of visual arts and constant carnivorous tendencies, Volcano Kitchen, a casual restaurant chain with locations in Osaka and Nogoya, sounds pretty appealing. The house specialty is a roast beef rice bowl, with the meat arranged in a volcano-like spire sitting in a pool of flavorful sauce, or “magma” as the restaurant refers to it. However, a series of snapshots shared by Japanese Twitter user @kalk_hanae are evocative of something quite different from the geological formation that makes up the first half of Volcano Kitchen’s name.
https://twitter.com/kalk_hanae/status/784982907467157504“I came to eat a roast beef bowl,” @kalk_hanae tweeted, “but for some reason my brain tells me I’m looking at something dirty.” We think we have a hunch as to what that reason might be: this fleshy, bulbous-tipped rod of meat looks like a penis.
Oh, and not just any penis, but one that’s both large and infected, as the seasonings clinging to it look like growths, boils, and inflamed blood vessels. As a matter of fact, the whole thing looks so unhealthy that when @kalk_hanae ruptures the soft-boiled egg at the tip, the disgusting shock is softened because it only makes sense that the ejaculation dribbling forth from this shaft should be brightly colored and extremely viscous.
Online reactions have included:
“Ugh…that’s so…”
“It’s really erect.”
“Unfit for broadcast TV.”
“Phimosis.”
“Way too realistic.”
Now, in Volcano Kitchen’s defense, the roast beef bowls on its official Twitter account are more artfully made.
【9月のお知らせ】
— ボルケーノキッチン (@volcano_kitchen) September 9, 2016
ボルケーノキッチン本店
社員研修のため
9月12日(月)
ランチ、ディナー
お休みをいただきます。
その日以外は
シャカリキ営業
させていただきますので
よろしくお願いします‼︎ pic.twitter.com/S3G6U0g7kK
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
— ボルケーノキッチン (@volcano_kitchen) June 11, 2016
おいしさ大噴火中‼️
旨さ爆発ボルケーノ💨
当店自慢の
『ボルケーノプレート』
マグマに見立てた半熟卵と
ご飯が入った
『新感覚ローストビーフ丼』
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/nyqSOIR6ch
But even then, it’s now hard not to see them as having a dong-derived design. However, @kalk_hanae reports that his roast beef bowl tasted great, and it certainly looks like a filling meal. If you’re in the mood to try it, but find its appearance to be uncomfortably suggestive, we’d suggest closing your eyes as you take the meat into your mouth.
Related: Volcano Kitchen Twitter
Source: Togech

We put Japan’s most phallic-looking roast beef meal into our mouth at Volcano Kitchen
Awesome mountain of meaty goodness now at beef bowl restaurant in Tokyo’s Akihabara and Shimbashi
The Obama Bowl — Hiroshima restaurant’s newest dish salutes visit by U.S. president 【Taste test】
Mr. Sato tries to eat a cheap beef bowl, gets a massive, luxurious surprise in the process
This is what Tokyo’s craziest roast beef ramen looks like…but save room for dessert!
Lawson convenience store at popular tourist site is one of the most unusual in Japan
Mr. Sato discovers his inner beaver with a 16-inch chocolate “twig” at Tokyo Station
Studio Ghibli celebrates the magic of movie theaters with short video, Hayao Miyazaki illustration
New Travelling Bento pouches turn your luggage into a Japanese lunch box
Downtown Tokyo’s meaty monster Kaibutsu ramen will challenge your stomach, thrill your taste buds
Howl’s Moving Castle’s scene-stealing dog is here to clean your home as a plushie mop
Japan’s 10 best Ferris wheels for beautiful views, as chosen by travelers【Survey】
Kobayashi Kiyochika expertly captures light and shadow in these gorgeous ukiyo-e prints 【Art】
Drink vending machines disappearing in Japan as number drops to lowest in 30 years
We went hanami cherry blossom viewing in gorgeous Ueno Park with complete strangers
Japan reportedly adding Japanese language skill requirement to most common foreigner work visa
Pokémon and Ikea Japan cross over into each other’s worlds with collaboration events
Mt. Fuji decorated with a 500,000-flower pink carpet is Japan’s ultimate spring view
Starbucks Japan closing only Shinkansen platform branch for popularity-triggered renovations
You can assemble a well-balanced team of Pokémon, them eat them, thanks to Japanese cake chain
Two food hacks take Japan’s convenience store fried chicken to amazing new sandwich heights
30 Pikachus want to share a Tokyo hotel room with you that has separate Grass, Water, Fire spaces
7-Eleven Japan’s new baked-in-store sweet treat is only available in three parts of the country
Man bites woman at cherry blossom park in Japan, dies shortly after
Peanuts and Coke becomes a viral hit in Japan, but is it a trend worth joining?
Japan now has a special desk for people who work at home with a pet cat[Photos]
Famous Tokyo cherry blossom spot installs view-blocking screens to fight overcrowding[Video]
Uniqlo announces new T-shirts for One Piece, Naruto and more for manga publisher’s 100th birthday
Train station platform ramen store closes its doors on half a century of history in Tokyo
Starbucks Japan releases new My Fruit³ Frappuccino at only 34 stores around the country
Krispy Kreme releases Super Mario doughnuts in Japan for a limited time
Japanese onsen egg maker from 100-yen store Daiso needs to be on your shopping list
Studio Ghibli releases Catbus pullback keychain that runs like the anime character
Survey asks foreign tourists what bothered them in Japan, more than half gave same answer
Japan’s human washing machines will go on sale to general public, demos to be held in Tokyo
Starbucks Japan releases new drinkware and goods for Valentine’s Day
We deeply regret going into this tunnel on our walk in the mountains of Japan
Starbucks Japan releases new sakura goods and drinkware for cherry blossom season 2026
Studio Ghibli releases Kodama forest spirits from Princess Mononoke to light up your home
Japan’s newest Shinkansen has no seats…or passengers [Video]
Major Japanese hotel chain says reservations via overseas booking sites may not be valid
Put sesame oil in your coffee? Japanese maker says it’s the best way to start your day【Taste test】
No more using real katana for tourism activities, Japan’s National Police Agency says
Japan Super Budget Dining – What’s the best way to spend 1,000 yen at beef bowl chain Matsuya?
Yoshinoya’s special Japanese parliament-only wagyu beef bowl is now available to us civilians too
This is what a Yoshinoya beef bowl looks like with US$100 in extra meat topping
One Japanese man has eaten at the same beef bowl restaurant for over 1,800 days in a row
Japanese beef bowl vending machine serves up…gyudon rice burgers?!?
Throw away your New Year’s resolutions – here’s our top “volume” restaurants of 2016
Big Cock Roll wows the taste buds at Japanese restaurant in Saitama
Tokyo restaurant’s crazy huge rice omelet has 600 grams (1.3 pounds) of rice
Pro gamer has perfect comeback to Sega exec’s “He looks like he eats cheese beef bowls” insult
Japanese vending machine serves up Wagyu beef steaks in the countryside