And that’s even before the sticky liquid starts oozing out of it.
For many meals in Japan, a dish’s presentation is arguably as important as its flavor. Previously, we’ve enjoyed eyeballing edibles that look like anime characters, fireworks, magic spells, and beautiful flowers.
So between our appreciation of visual arts and constant carnivorous tendencies, Volcano Kitchen, a casual restaurant chain with locations in Osaka and Nogoya, sounds pretty appealing. The house specialty is a roast beef rice bowl, with the meat arranged in a volcano-like spire sitting in a pool of flavorful sauce, or “magma” as the restaurant refers to it. However, a series of snapshots shared by Japanese Twitter user @kalk_hanae are evocative of something quite different from the geological formation that makes up the first half of Volcano Kitchen’s name.
https://twitter.com/kalk_hanae/status/784982907467157504“I came to eat a roast beef bowl,” @kalk_hanae tweeted, “but for some reason my brain tells me I’m looking at something dirty.” We think we have a hunch as to what that reason might be: this fleshy, bulbous-tipped rod of meat looks like a penis.
Oh, and not just any penis, but one that’s both large and infected, as the seasonings clinging to it look like growths, boils, and inflamed blood vessels. As a matter of fact, the whole thing looks so unhealthy that when @kalk_hanae ruptures the soft-boiled egg at the tip, the disgusting shock is softened because it only makes sense that the ejaculation dribbling forth from this shaft should be brightly colored and extremely viscous.
Online reactions have included:
“Ugh…that’s so…”
“It’s really erect.”
“Unfit for broadcast TV.”
“Phimosis.”
“Way too realistic.”
Now, in Volcano Kitchen’s defense, the roast beef bowls on its official Twitter account are more artfully made.
【9月のお知らせ】
— ボルケーノキッチン (@volcano_kitchen) September 9, 2016
ボルケーノキッチン本店
社員研修のため
9月12日(月)
ランチ、ディナー
お休みをいただきます。
その日以外は
シャカリキ営業
させていただきますので
よろしくお願いします‼︎ pic.twitter.com/S3G6U0g7kK
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
— ボルケーノキッチン (@volcano_kitchen) June 11, 2016
おいしさ大噴火中‼️
旨さ爆発ボルケーノ💨
当店自慢の
『ボルケーノプレート』
マグマに見立てた半熟卵と
ご飯が入った
『新感覚ローストビーフ丼』
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/nyqSOIR6ch
But even then, it’s now hard not to see them as having a dong-derived design. However, @kalk_hanae reports that his roast beef bowl tasted great, and it certainly looks like a filling meal. If you’re in the mood to try it, but find its appearance to be uncomfortably suggestive, we’d suggest closing your eyes as you take the meat into your mouth.
Related: Volcano Kitchen Twitter
Source: Togech

We put Japan’s most phallic-looking roast beef meal into our mouth at Volcano Kitchen
Awesome mountain of meaty goodness now at beef bowl restaurant in Tokyo’s Akihabara and Shimbashi
The Obama Bowl — Hiroshima restaurant’s newest dish salutes visit by U.S. president 【Taste test】
Mr. Sato tries to eat a cheap beef bowl, gets a massive, luxurious surprise in the process
This is what Tokyo’s craziest roast beef ramen looks like…but save room for dessert!
Sanrio Character Poll announces winners, Hello Kitty absent from top 10 in many countries
Live-action Spirited Away stage play announces world tour with first-ever U.S. and Canadian dates
Sleep at Hoshinoya Nara Prison, one of the most unique hotels in Japan
Tokyo has only two barley tea makers, and we visited one to see how mugicha is made
Japan’s Mocchurin donuts declared too popular to exist by creator Mister Donut, will disappear soon
Japan’s new pettably fuzzy cat-shaped earbud chargers meow to let you know their status[Video]
Studio Ghibli combines anime and craftsmanship in new Totoro and Jiji Gobelin tapestry bags
Studio Ghibli mini towels add anime flair to a Japanese cultural tradition
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty about using manga for studying and the top series for learning
Japanese overnight sightseeing train returns for summer with ramen stops and ocean views
Japan launches first overnight Shinkansen bullet train between Tokyo and Osaka this summer
Family Mart Japan installs red-eyed “Monster Wolf” to keep bears away from convenience store
Starbucks Japan reopens Shinkansen platform store after redesigning it for speed
Japan announces sudden 400-percent increase in visa fees for foreigners entering the country
Pikachu brings electric style to brand-new Pokémon G-Shock watch featuring every stater trio
Japanese man’s gross conveyor belt sushi social media prank video gets him a 500,000-yen fine
Starbucks Japan creates special drink bottle bags, adorable stickers for all 47 prefectures[Pics]
Japanese ninja certification exam attracts 131 candidates from Japan and abroad
Studio Ghibli store Donguri Republic announces opening of first-ever store in America
New Japanese overnight train coming to connect Tokyo with Tohoku in sleep-travel style
Uniqlo reveals third round of massive 100-year-anniversary manga T-shirts for Jump’s Shueisha
Even at twice regular Daiso price, this handy item is still great for summer travel in Japan
Japanese sweets shop sells an ohagi so exquisite it sells out by noon
Forget Tokyo go-karts – there’s a new way to sightsee on four wheels in Japan
Japanese sweets brand creates new drinkable Cigare and we’re totally here for it
Japan’s human washing machines will go on sale to general public, demos to be held in Tokyo
Starbucks Japan releases new drinkware and goods for Valentine’s Day
We deeply regret going into this tunnel on our walk in the mountains of Japan
Starbucks Japan releases new sakura goods and drinkware for cherry blossom season 2026
Japan’s newest Shinkansen has no seats…or passengers [Video]
Put sesame oil in your coffee? Japanese maker says it’s the best way to start your day【Taste test】
Japan reportedly adding Japanese language skill requirement to most common foreigner work visa
Japan’s 5.3 million beautiful Hitachi Nemophila flowers are now in full bloom[Photos]
Japan Super Budget Dining – What’s the best way to spend 1,000 yen at beef bowl chain Matsuya?
This is what a Yoshinoya beef bowl looks like with US$100 in extra meat topping
Yoshinoya’s special Japanese parliament-only wagyu beef bowl is now available to us civilians too
One Japanese man has eaten at the same beef bowl restaurant for over 1,800 days in a row
Japanese beef bowl vending machine serves up…gyudon rice burgers?!?
Throw away your New Year’s resolutions – here’s our top “volume” restaurants of 2016
Big Cock Roll wows the taste buds at Japanese restaurant in Saitama
Tokyo restaurant’s crazy huge rice omelet has 600 grams (1.3 pounds) of rice
Pro gamer has perfect comeback to Sega exec’s “He looks like he eats cheese beef bowls” insult
Japanese vending machine serves up Wagyu beef steaks in the countryside