If hilariously bad game programming were an Olympic sport, this game would grab gold.
The 2020 Tokyo Olympics is coming closer every day, and Japan is doing its best to appeal to a Japanese pop culture-loving audience. We’ve already seen them favor a manga-themed opening ceremony over a kabuki-themed one, and nearly all of their official ambassadors are characters from anime or video games.
With all that planning then, it would be a shame if somehow things got a little… glitchy when the Olympics were underway.
To see what we mean, check out this video posted by Japanese Twitter user @1150J (originally posted on NicoNico Douga). It shows what happens when all the laws of gravity and physics decide to go haywire… or just what happens when game programmers presumably die at the keyboard:
▼ “I’ve never seen game bugs this terrible before.”
(Click to play video.)
これほど酷いゲームのバクは見たことがない pic.twitter.com/hqyGqdsGyI
— すぺんど (@1150J) July 25, 2017
Oh sweet Sally that is some silly sports-ing!
The video starts off strong with upside-down runners sticking their heads through solid ground, and it just gets better from there. The replay after the race is a thing of beauty, not only failing to show the actual travesty of a race that happened, but having the racers shoot off at light speed in the opposite direction. All the while music meant to pump you up plays in the background, accentuating the absurdity.
And then the pole vault. Oh yes. The way he keeps running, and running, and running (all the while getting “perfect!” scores), and then leaps into the audience… it’s a thing of beauty. And again the replays, and their comically indifferent background music is the perfect spice on top of the poop pie.
Here’s what Japanese netizens thought:
“Oh god, my stomach and jaw hurt from laughing so much!”
“Haha I definitely should not have watched that on the train.”
“Is this the Olypmics where supernatural beings competed?”
“These are some god-tier bugs right here.”
“Oh! I know this game. It’s Konami’s Hyper Olympics in Atlanta for the PS1.”
Well Konami certainly got the “hyper” part of the game right. Now if only they could’ve gotten the game to work properly, that would’ve been a real accomplishment!
Although we have to wonder, is this just a taste of things to comes in 2020? Japan is already taking its Akira anime connection a little too far, so could the Tokyo Olympics be the birthplace of mutant athletes?!
Probably not. But it’d certainly get me to buy a ticket.
Source: NicoNico Douga via Twitter/@1150J
Featured image: twitter/@1150J

Canon shows off video-game-like replay tech for real games of Rugby World Cup in Japan
Graphical glitches turn Pokémon Masters mobile game into mind-flaying horror story【Video】
One of the hottest video games has some hilarious glitches
The glitch this Japanese gamer encountered in Pokémon Go is just too cruel for words【Video】
Unlike real-life counterpart, Tokyo 2020 Olympics video game is going remarkably smoothly
China’s don’t-go-to-Japan warning seems to be affecting Osaka’s Namba and Dotonbori neighborhoods
This Osaka laundromat wants to clean more than your clothes; it also wants to clean you
Japan’s first-ever wanko soba conveyor belt restaurant opens in Tokyo
Japan’s human washing machines will go on sale to general public, demos to be held in Tokyo
Turning your cake into an awesome-looking 2-D cake like this is quick and simple【Photos】
How far away from Tokyo can you get with 5,000 yen? Let’s find out!
Is there demand for merch of our stylish reporter? Let’s find out with the Ikuna Acrylic Standee
McKatsudon: Easy to make with new spicy chicken nuggets from McDonald’s Japan
Shizuoka senior charged with firearms violation after giving toy guns to the police
Chinese government’s don’t-go-to-Japan warning has heartwarming non-effect on Yokohama Chinatown
Nintendo’s Kirby now delivering orders at Kura Sushi restaurants, but not in Japan
Yoshinoya adds first-ever chain-wide ramen with new beef and pork-broth noodle hot pot meals
Japan considering raising international traveler departure tax even more than previously reported
Is China’s don’t-go-to-Japan warning affecting tourist crowds in Shibuya’s Don Quijote?
Studio Ghibli stamps lift your spirits with motivational phrases from Totoro
Is China’s don’t-go-to-Japan warning affecting tourist crowd sizes in Nara?
Japanese train company is letting fans buy its actual ticket gates for their homes
Japanese town suing resident for being a jerk
New fish discovered and named “Vanderhorstia supersaiyan” for obvious reasons
Starbucks Japan unveils new Christmas goods and a rhinestone tumbler that costs 19,500 yen
Real-world Nausicaa Ghibli anime glider completes its final flight in Japan【Video】
Brand-new Pokémon park opens in Japan with larger-than-life-size Lapras【Photos】
Unique inclined elevator in Japan leads to a town that inspired Studio Ghibli’s Spirited Away
Is China’s don’t-go-to-Japan warning affecting tourist crowds in Tokyo’s Asakusa neighborhood?
The 10 best day trips from downtown Tokyo【Survey】
Naturally brown-haired Osaka student sues government for forcing her to dye her hair black
Japanese government considering tripling departure taxes to combat overtourism
Survey asks foreign tourists what bothered them in Japan, more than half gave same answer
Japan’s deadliest food claims more victims, but why do people keep eating it for New Year’s?
We deeply regret going into this tunnel on our walk in the mountains of Japan
Studio Ghibli releases Kodama forest spirits from Princess Mononoke to light up your home
Major Japanese hotel chain says reservations via overseas booking sites may not be valid
Put sesame oil in your coffee? Japanese maker says it’s the best way to start your day【Taste test】
The top 10 annoying foreign tourist behaviors on trains, as chosen by Japanese people【Survey】
No more using real katana for tourism activities, Japan’s National Police Agency says
Starbucks Japan reveals new sakura drinkware collection, inspired by evening cherry blossoms
TV audiences in Japan surprised to see “Pikachu,” “Raichu” as members of U.S. Olympic team
Anime legs fly high in the sky, look just like a video game glitch come to life in Japan【Video】
A Pokémon glitch no one discovered in 18 years has been found…by a pet fish in Japan?!?【Videos】
Dragon Quest at Olympics opening ceremony? Game theme, Eva-connected song heard coming from stadium
And the most popular video game developer in Japan is…
Japan’s silver medalist figure skater has no time for love because he’s busy playing video games
Hilarious Japanese train-racing racing game at AGDQ has speedrunning fans in stitches【Video】
Olympic athlete gets special Tokyo memory competing at site of one of her favorite video games
U.S. Olympic athlete reveals he runs with Yi-Gi-Oh! cards tucked into his uniform【Video】
The Winter Olympics would have been far more fun with Mario Kart power-ups 【Video】
Onesie for gamers comes with ‘toilet mode’, has Japanese Twitter in stitches
Birth of new kusoge legend — Zelda wannabe has copied Zelda music, all-original crazy bugs【Vids】
The terror of playing a Japanese horror video game with cute face filters
Upcoming Japanese video game has its idol singers dying, literally, to be the number one vocalist
Leave a Reply