
Someone’s 2019 is off to a skin-crawling start.
A disturbing incident broke out in Suzuka City in the late evening of 3 January. A call came into police that “a naked man was hitting the balcony window” of a 23-year-old male resident’s apartment.
Officers rushed to the scene and confirmed the nude intruder’s presence all the way up on the third floor of the building in 3.4℃ (38℉) weather. The suspect, who is also believed to be in his 20s, was promptly taken into custody and is currently facing charges of trespassing.
However, the man had not cooperated with investigators and has refusing to give his identity or motive for taking off all his clothes and scaling three stories to knock on the window of a stranger’s home. So police are trying to find answers on their own.
Luckily, they have the help of Japanese netizens who are full of theories why this unsettling happening took place.
“Santa’s drunk.”
“That sounds like a Terminator.”
“He was probably hoping for a woman in the apartment.”
“I wonder what kind of drugs you’d have to be on to do that.”
“Maybe he was trying to surprise his girlfriend but couldn’t find the right place from the outside.”
“It’s an alien or time-traveler.”
“That’s just frightening.”
It was also reported that police found the naked man’s clothes and other belongings (none of which revealed his identity) at the scene, thus ruling out the possibility of a Terminator or even Starman. Also, the fact that the man isn’t talking to police suggests this was more than a wacky Three’s Company style misunderstanding.
So what compels a man to climb naked onto another man’s balcony besides hard drugs and possibly itching powder? Hopefully police will find out, but for now it’s yet another reason for us all to make sure our balconies are locked regardless of the height or season.

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