Female coworker tells him it isn’t what you say, but how you…

An uncountable number of movies, TV shows, and books are love stories, and with good reason. Who doesn’t enjoy a good romance, right?

But it’s important to remember that like all works of fiction, the most entertaining on-screen/on-page romances get their charge from sudden twists and tension-filled conclusions. For the purpose of making the connection between the lovers as impactful as possible, things usually come down to a singular dramatic moment, when the guy says just the right thing to win the heart of the woman he desires, making the romantic triumph a matter of saying the correct password.

Looking to improve his luck with the ladies, Japanese Twitter user @DT_aoki asked a female coworker to tell him just what that password is, but ended up getting an entirely different kind of insider information than he’d been hoping for.

“I told a female coworker ‘I just can’t figure out the password to open up women’s hearts,’ and she told me ‘Women’s hearts don’t open with a password, They open with facial recognition.’”

Basically, according to the coworker, the key to opening a woman’s heart isn’t being eloquent, it’s being handsome.

“I understand, but I was happier not knowing that,” finished @DT_aoki, apparently dejected at the idea that his lack of good looks will forever lock him out of the game of romance. However, a number of Twitter commenters were quick to offer a cynical workaround.

“You can get around the facial recognition lock with a bank account confirmation.”
“By paying the required fee, you can bypass the facial rcognition system. However, your service may be cancelled at any time.”
“The proper face for the facial recognition system is Yukichi Fukuzawa [the man on the 10,000-yen bill, Japan’s largest form of currency].”

“This face should work fine.”

A more level-headed response, though, came from this commenter.

“There is a password, of sorts, for a woman’s heart. However, depending on her specific password, the keywords are different. It’s a very complicated authorization process. Also, please be advised that an incorrect password entry can result in a permanent lockout.”

In other words, as much as @DT_aoki may want on, there’s no all-access password that will melt the heart of each and every woman on the planet, so the only thing to do is pay attention and get to know the woman as an individual so that you’ll learn which words she wants to hear from you.

Source: Twitter/@DT_aoki via Hachima Kiko
Top image: Pakutaso
Insert image: Pakutaso
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Follow Casey on Twitter, where he once told a girl “These carrots taste really good,” and they ended up getting married.