Heavyset man exposes himself on sub-zero night.

While flashers’ motivation is beyond the personal understanding of mentally balanced individuals, their objective is pretty simple. They want people to see their junk, and specifically they want people who don’t want to see their junk to see it.

So it’s a little hard to follow the logic of a man in Japan who flashed a woman in Sapporo’s Toyohira Ward on December 18. According to a notice from the Hokkaido Prefectural Police Crime Prevention Information Dispatch Room Twitter account, the incident occurred on a street in the Hiragishi neighborhood. Witnesses say the man, who is believed to be in his 30s or 40s, had his hair in twin tails, as paired ponytails are called in Japan.

▼ The report

While that’s a fashionable hairstyle for idol singers and anime girls, it’s a pretty unusual hairdo for an “obese” guy (as the report describes him), and likely pulled a measure of attention away from his exposed groin. He was also dressed in a pink long-sleeved T-shirt, an eye-catching color which would also help to pull visual focus to his upper body.

But perhaps the most counterproductive aspect of the flasher’s plan was that, as mentioned, the incident took place in Sapporo, the capital of Hokkaido, Japan’s northernmost prefecture. You know, the city where it’s so cold they hold a Snow Festival with giant ice sculptures every year. The police say the flashing occurred at around 10:30 p.m., at which time the temperature had dipped down to about -1 degree Celsius (30.2 degrees Fahrenheit). Sub-freezing temperatures aren’t exactly the penis’ preferred environment, and odds are the chilly conditions resulted in considerable shrinkage.

With two distractions and a diminished dong, the man’s strategy seems almost entirely counterproductive, which is to the benefit of everyone else. However, he still remains at large, and so the authorities are asking anyone who sees him to run away and call the police, who may or may not want to bring a frostbite treatment kit with them when they make the arrest.

Source: Twitter/@HP_seian via Otakomu, Yahoo! Japan Weather
Top image: Pakutaso
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