You know you’ve made it in Japan when they make a series of capsule toys out of you.

Egashira 2:50 is one of most compelling figures in modern Japanese pop culture. Though it might not be so obvious at a first glance of his disheveled half-naked frame and scowling face.

In many ways he’s the antithesis of the kind of guy who appears to be a perfect member of society but hides some truly heinous behavior behind closed doors. Instead, Egashira’s public persona is that of a repulsive pervert who hurls his nudity at the audience both figuratively and literally, but out of the public eye he is by most accounts one of the kindest people you’ll ever know.

YouTube biographer George of Japan made a really great video outlining Egashira 2:50’s early career if you need a crash course in what he’s been about.

This video was made in 2017 and ends with George admitting “I’m looking forward to and slightly fearful of seeing what he does in the future.”

Well, the future is now, and after continuing to work on the periphery of Japanese mainstream entertainment, Egashira 2:50 finally found the one person who would give him the break he had been waiting for: himself!

Last February, the comedian established Ega-channel on YouTube, a platform where he could call the shots and express himself however he wanted to. The result is a really interesting mix of unusually intriguing gross-out humor and low-key intimate talks.

After a little trouble getting set-up, Ega-channel quickly soared in popularity and gained over two million subscribers in about four months.

To celebrate this hard-earned success, capsule toy maker Kitan Club is coming out with a line of Egashira 2:50 ball-chain mascots, which are like little key chains.

Available poses are:

Egashira Attack

This is a move in which the aging man hurls his butt at opponents, as demonstrated in the Monster Strike commercial below.

▼ Complaining

Never one to mince words on-stage, Egashira will always let you know how he feels, and now that has been immortalized in ball-chain-mascot form.

▼ Wobbly Steps

An Egashira classic in which he folds his legs into the lotus position and then begins to walk on his knees.

▼ Dooooong!

Easily Egashira’s most famous pose in which he shoves his first into the crotch of his yoga pants and stretches it outwards. In the following video he performs it to a live crowd and walks through the audience so that everyone can get a good picture of it. Notice how smoothly he get his whole arm right in there.

▼ Three point handstand

Pretty self-explanatory really.

▼ Gappé Mukatsuku!

And this is the farthest thing from self-explanatory. This is a type of yoga-based martial art which Egashira developed himself over hundreds of years. To perform this move you must first raise your left arm over your head. Then with your right hand, reach into the armpit and pluck a single hair, while doing so you must shout “Gappé!” in a high-pitched voice and pluck the hair at the same time you pronounce the “” part.

Once that is complete, you must then throw the armpit hair at your opponent while shouting “Mukatsuku!” Keep in mind that there is no windup to this throw, so it’s important to use your right leg to help put your weight into it.

If performed correctly your opponent will likely be neutralized, and as an added benefit your armpit hair will be that much more groomed.

▼ Beijing Legend

This last figure recreates the time Egashira 2:50 was spotted by chance in the audience of the wrestling competition of the 2008 Beijing Olympics, cheering on the legendary champion Saori Yoshida and dressed as seen in the figure.

These figures will hit capsule machines from 4 July for 200 yen (US$2) each. Be sure to grab one or all of them and chain them to something with pride. It goes without saying that an old guy shoving his hand down his pants is the perfect accoutrement for your next box social or teleconference.

Source, images: Kitan Club
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