Let them fight.

In perhaps the biggest pivot from heel to face in cinematic history, the mass-destruction causing radioactive monster Godzilla went from humanity’s greatest threat to greatest hope as he slugged it out with countless other gigantic creatures. Then his kid came along and things got really campy for a while.

Nevertheless, whenever an enormous threat surfaces so too does Godzilla to deal with it in a most entertaining way. That goes for confined aridity too, because due out in stores late November is the Burning Godzilla King of Humidifiers!!!

▼ Cue the music.

Now, you must be thinking, “Is this guy on crack? Everyone and their mother already bought a Godzilla Humidifier back in 2018.”

▼ Godzilla King of Humidifiers, circa 2017

Well, I’m going to go ahead and overlook the accusation of drug use and kindly advise you to look closely at Burning Godzilla King of Humidfiers’ differently colored dorsal scutes and other bright patches on his body.

That’s because this is the form Godzilla took during 1995’s memorable Godzilla vs Destoroyah when his body was undergoing a critical meltdown that both killed him and gave him heightened power in the form of the Infinite Heat Ray.

▼ SPOILER ALERT: This is the end of the movie.

Now you can too!

However, this Infinite Heat Ray is has been recreated in the medium of beneficial moisture rather than deadly radioactive heat. Just one press of Godzilla’s scutes will trigger either a constant or repeated blast of mist which has been lit up with an orange LED for optimum effect.

▼ Instructional comic

But that’s far from all! In order to completely bring you into the movies, the Burning Godzilla King of Humidifiers also plays one of five Akira Ifukube scores from the films at various stages of humidifying, including the Main Theme and wistful Requiem when the water supply has depleted.

These tunes are also accompanied by the King of Monsters’ trademark scream and all sounds can be switched on or off and have adjustable volume. It’s all enough to make anyone say, “I’d easily pay 7,980 yen (US$76) plus tax for one of these!”

It’s a good thing too, because that happens to be the exact suggested retail price when it comes out later this month. So, be sure to pick up a Burning Godzilla King of Humidifiers, because he’ll be your greatest ally in the fight against itchy eyes and nosebleeds. He’ll also really freak out your cat!

Source: @Press via NetLab
Top image: @Press
Insert images: @Press (1, 2)
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