Mr. Sato and his office bros, as you’ve never seen them before!

Last week, the nine male members of Japanese-language writing and editing team spent the day wearing the clothes they’d like their romantic partners to wear on a date. It was a perspective-broadening experience for them, but while their attire was unlike anything they’re used to, their faces and hairstyles remained as they ever were.

Recently, though, our reporter Mr. Sato wondered what he and his fellow male officemates would look like if they’d changed from the neck up, and so he put together another photo shoot. Let’s start with a look at A-chan.

Dressed in a sassy tank top, A-chan is hoping to take a trip to Hawaii once the pandemic completely settles down. As you might guess, though, A-chan is an alias, and that’s really one of our male reporters after receiving a digital makeover via photo editing app FaceApp. Using the apps “teen” and “feminize” functions, Mr. Sato was given a glimpse of what they’d look like as young ladies, so let’s have a look at the results, followed by a reveal of who’s who.

B-chan, who’s looking forward to going to karaoke with friends when life finally gets back to the old normal

C-chan, who’s been waking up early to do yoga every morning

D-chan, who radiates a mysterious, worldly allure

E-chan, who combines the height of a runway model with the looks of an idol singer

F-chan, ready to head out for a casual lunch date in a cozy, oversized sweatshirt

G-chan, making a heart gesture with crossed thumb and index finger

H-chan, with freshly scrubbed face and smooth, neatly styled hair

▼ And last, I-chan, who’s really into watching mixed martial arts

▼ And here’s what all of them look like ordinarily.

So, what are the real identities of A through I-chan? Going once again in alphabetical order, A-chan is…

P.K. Sanjun, and B-chan is none other than…

Mr. Sato!

It’s worth noting that, true to its name, FaceApp is really only concerned with your face, and the digital effects we applied didn’t change anything about our reporters’ bodies. That’s not really an issue with the long-sleeve wearing C-chan, who is, in reality…

Seiji Nakazawa. However, you might have noticed D-chan’s especially hirsute forearms, which are actually the forearms of…

…Japanese head editor Go Hatori.

Meanwhile, the statuesque E-chan is…

Masanuki Sunakoma, whom FaceApp saw fit to give some major hair extensions to, a move it also deemed appropriate for F-chan…

…or SoraNews24 owner Yoshio.

We’re getting close to the end, and process of elimination might make it easy to guess that G-chan’s true identity is…

Takashi Harada, and H-chan is…

doting daddy Ahiruneko.

Which, finally, means that I-chan’s shy smile is that of…

Yuichiro Wasai.

It’s honestly startling how far this kind of technology has come in recent years, especially since FaceApp is free. The lack of changes made from the chin down are a tipoff that all might not be as it seems, but it’s probably only a matter of time until free-to-use apps start adding those too.

Related: FaceApp (iOS, Android)
Photos © SoraNews24
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