Lotteria continues to try making burgers out of noodles, this time they brought rice to the party

Despite a rather weak track-record for its hamburgers with patties of noodles, fast-food chain Lotteria is back at it with the Moko Tanmen Burger. This time around they’ve also come up with the Moko Don Burger which uses a wad of rice as the patty. Good thing Dr. Atkins isn’t around to see this.

They say the definition of “insanity” is doing the same thing twice and expecting different results. We’re not sure what to call RocketNews24 reporter Mr. Sato then, because he is returning to Lotteria for a fourth time to try these noodley sandwiches in hopes of some redemption.

The Moko Tanmen Burger and Moko Don Burger were created in collaboration with Moko Tanmen Nakamoto, a chain of ramen restaurants in the Tokyo area. Perhaps for this reason Tokyo is getting a few days’ head-start on these burgers before they go nationwide on 19 May.

First, Mr. Sato stared down the tangled patty of the Moko Tanmen Burger. Each time Lotteria had partnered with a ramen shop for these things it always turned out the same. Our reporter was pretty well convinced noodles and buns simply don’t go together. But he had to try.

Sure enough the noodles and buns were a complete clash of textures. The sponginess of the noodles only served to accentuate the dryness of the buns. The result was a flaky and stringy ball of dry confusion.

Like before, Lotteria provided some soup for dipping. However, the dipping only made the whole burger soggy and unpleasant. If you’ve had these ramen burgers before then you’d know what to expect. Unfortunately, Mr. Sato was expecting some sort of improvement after two years, so he swallowed his last bite in sheer disappointment.

Next up was the Moko Don Burger and its patty made of rice. The appearance was enough to lower Mr. Sato’s expectations even further. The molded shape of the rice patty made him wonder if it might have had the gummy consistency of mochi.

Luckily it didn’t taste like he imagined, but if you were to ask Mr. Sato to describe the taste of the Moko Don Burger in one word, it would be “discomfort” as that was the feeling the spread throughout his entire mouth while eating.

So if you’re in the mood for a little “discomfort” and “disappointment” then why not head down to Lotteria for a Moko Tanmen Burger or Moko Don Burger? Meanwhile, Mr. Sato would like to yet again urge the burger chain to stop this madness once and for all. It just doesn’t work.