Osaka authorities finally arrest “Spider Man”

Your unfriendly neighborhood wall-crawler currently facing several charges of theft.

Makoto Kagaya was a mild-mannered construction worker, when one day he was allegedly bitten by a radioactive urge to do crime. This gave him amazing powers that allowed him to buy a pair of slip-resistant gloves so that he could scale the sides of apartment buildings and steal money from inside.

He is believed to have been responsible for 11 thefts between the months of March and May this year around Osaka Prefecture. Each time he entered the upper floors of apartment buildings through their balcony doors. He would later tell police, “I wasn’t afraid, because I used to assemble scaffolding on the sides of buildings.”

Using his work gloves he would climb using the handrails and gutters of balconies up to the seventh to eleventh floors, because they were mostly likely to have unlocked doors.

▼ This eight story-building represents just slightly more the minimum height the suspect would scale

From there he would slip in and grab any wallet or cash that he could find lying around or inside bags. However, early on in March, the 59-year-old’s spidey-sense failed him when one of his victims awoke and began fighting the thief, whose spidey-strength was also understandably diminished from climbing a building.

The suspect managed to escape, however, and became the target of Osaka Prefectural Police who dubbed him “Kumo Otoko” or “Spider Man,” not to be confused with the delightful and hyphenated superhero Spider-Man.

Through witness descriptions and surveillance camera footage, they were finally able to track Kagaya down to his Higashiosaka home and make an arrest. He now faces several charges including theft.

While clearly condemning him for his crimes, readers online were most impressed with the agility of a man pushing 60.

“That’s one healthy 59-year-old.”
“Seventh to eleventh floors? That’s like 30 meters [100 feet]!”
“Imagine having that kind of strength at 59.”
“Hmm, sounds more like Crazy Climber than Spider-Man.”
“Marveller! Change! Leopardon!”
“He has amazing strength and coordination for someone approaching 60. What a waste of talent.”

As the last comment suggested, police are reporting that Spider Man’s three-month crime spree only resulted in 430,000 yen (US$3,900). Although not a small sum, it does seem like a man with his skill and vitality is probably underachieving.

Perhaps he just got off on the thrill of thievery, or perhaps no one sat him down and explained that with great power such as his, comes great responsibility. Isn’t that right Mr. Jameson?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcIfRtEvNus

That’s right.

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