Hint: marriage might be more likely to go well if the sight of your beloved-to-be doesn’t make you throw up a little in your mouth.

For men, there’s a traditional forum to gripe and complain about their old ball and chain, their trouble and strife, and all the things their wife does or doesn’t do: the pub, or in Japan’s case, the izakaya or snack bar. Without that sort of culture, where are wives to go to vent their frustrations about their beastly spouses or for smug ones to show off how their husband can cook or look after a baby? In recent years, the Internet seems to be the place to air one’s dirty laundry of choice, with posts on social media or sites like Husband Death Note but there are also those offering the wisdom of their (sometimes short) years.

One wife, Twitter user @nagachiharu who has been married for only three years (not yet even halfway towards the seven-year itch), has offered up some sage advice for those in the market for a marriage partner.


Apparently the things to look for in a prospective life partner, regardless of gender, are: someone with a face that you like; that is willing to share the housework; that doesn’t have weird parents; that can tolerate a similar (preferably small) amount of untidiness; and, possibly reaching the crux of this particular wife’s complaints, someone who has a job.

▼ If you’re not careful, married life can go from the photo at the top to this photo below all too quickly.

@nagachiharu went on to say that living with the person you plan on marrying before tying the knot is a must, and that women shouldn’t forget that they should be able to live off their own salary without relying on their husband as being dependent on someone wouldn’t be fun. While all of the above is good advice, not everyone agreed with her opinion on the necessity of living together before marriage. Others thought that she seemed a bit too high and mighty dispensing advice like that to single, or unhappily married, readers.

“I totally agree about the face and untidiness level things, but for living together I think you should also work out things like what happens when you break promises [like cleaning and washing the dishes] and punishments, or about going out to meet each others’ parents.”
“I don’t agree about the living together; girls are just a pain.”
“About the parents being weird or not, I think that’s the key. If they had a similar upbringing and home environment, have a similar number of siblings, have three generations living in the same house or not, you’ll probably have matching values. That, and having the same tidiness levels, is important.”
“I met my spouse 15 years ago, and I’ve been married for five years now, and I agree with what you’ve said. If I were to add some more conditions, it would be liking each other’s smell, having your own money and interests, and being able to forgive the same sort of things in each other.”
“I really agree with the face thing. If you like their face, you can forgive anything, good or bad.”
“Wouldn’t the opinion of someone who’s been divorced be more useful?”

While it would be interesting to know if @nagachiharu is still singing the same tune a few years down the line, it’s probably all good advice. Although, as the last commenter put it, hearing from those who didn’t choose wisely might be more useful, and makes for juicier reading, whether it’s marriage between the same nationalities or of the international variety. But remember, if you can keep the spark alive there’s no reason you can’t be happy until death do you part.

Source: Twitter/nagachiharu via jin115
Top image: Gahag
Insert image: Pakutaso