Richard Simmonds

Originally from Sussex in the UK, Richard came to Japan for the first time in 2011 to teach English. Deciding that only one stint as a student wasn’t enough he returned to go to university in Osaka where he still lives, working slowly towards his inevitable destiny of being killed in an avalanche of manga and textbooks, surrounded by the discarded wrappers of assorted matcha-flavour sweets and biscuits. Whilst continuing his love-hate- hate relationship with the Japanese language he works as a translator, writer and sometime bar pet gaijin.

All Stories by Richard Simmonds

Rain’s age of tyranny is over as we get back the use of our hands with an umbrella hat

Stay dry if not necessarily stylish, even as rainy season does its worst with a giant umbrella hat.

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Japanese Twitter explains why plump sofas, and girls, are better than skinny ones

Japanese Twitter user utilises photos to explain their love of girls with a little junk in the trunk, or loot in the boot.

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We try 7-Eleven Japan’s latest fancy desserts: ice cream macarons【Taste test】

Meringue meets ice cream in convenience store chain’s latest summer-themed dessert offering.

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10 reasons real life is like a terrible kusoge video game

It might have been made into a board game, but here are 10 reasons why the game of life shouldn’t get a PC or console port.

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The pitfalls of inter-otaku conversation, turns out it’s no better than with non-otaku

Cool artwork shows how little otaku have to say to non-otaku, or even each other.

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We make delicious, low(er)-calorie Japanese-style pizza with fried tofu and miso!【Sora Kitchen】

In our quest to find a cheese-laden pizza we can eat guilt-free, we’ve come across a Japanese-style concoction that’s surprisingly delicious.

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Amazing new AI program transforms photos into gorgeous amine artwork【Video】

Monkeys with typewriters can write Shakespeare but can machines create anime as well as humans?

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Five reasons your partner’s political apathy means you’d be better off without them

If you wanna know, if he loves you so, it’s in his… political engagement, that’s where it is.

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Ever struggled to get the last piece of confectionery out of a packet? Twitter may have the key

Japanese Twitter user’s methods work just as well (or not) with Hi-Chew as with any other kind of recalcitrant sweet or candy.

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Feel like a sexy samurai with old-school underwear and the viral fundoshi dancer 【Video】

Loincloths make a comeback with the popularity of fundoshi dance videos and the oppressive heat of Japanese summer rearing its ugly head.

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We go crazy for Jackie Chan TV ad, cue digging out an old cosplay battle 【Video】

Remember the time we hired a lookalike and reenacted a classic Jackie Chan fight? Of course we do, we still have the video evidence!

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Gaming chair advert stereotyping Japanese as short has Twitter raging

Is Japan Lilliput? Chair company appealing to ‘short-legged and short-bodied’ Japanese seems to think so.

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Japanese child manages to ruin Pokémon GO for his mother with one short sentence

One parent and Twitter user experiences the joy of catching Pikachu in Pokémon GO, but it’s all too short-lived.

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Jaw-droppingly futuristic omnimeter transforms normal cars into space-age racers

Like automotive magpies, we fall in love with something shiny. Now just to find a(nother) car to put it in.

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Maths professor from Japan’s optical illusions will have you doubting your own eyes【Video】

Perplexing perspectives: when left is right, and right is right, our brains melt but we’re impressed nonetheless.

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Creepy Japanese construction site display celebrates Children’s Day, gives passers-by goose bumps

Mannequins celebrating various yearly events have Japanese Twitter freaking out.

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Potential cat-astrophe! Japanese park goers warned about dangers of cats and shoes, possibly

Model/celebrity finds confusing sign telling us to do, or not do, something involving small cats and big shoes.

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Pet rodent causes a ham-stir with its amazing multi-level mansion【Video】

Pet hamster and its multi-storey residence have Japanese social media users green-eyed with house envy.

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New manga to reveal secrets of creation of Pokémon

The story of the man who brought us Pikachu and countless other fantastical creatures to feature in an educational manga next month.

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Japanese Twitter user posts beautiful photos of what may be Japan’s most picturesque shrine

Gorgeous photos show an otherworldly shrine hidden away in the heart of Kyushu.

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