Spoiler alert: We won’t be making this ever again. 

If there’s two things our Japanese-language reporter Seiji Nakazawa loves, it’s kakigori shaved ice and instant noodles. Being a man of refined tastes, Seiji doesn’t just go for any old instant noodle, though, as his pick of the bunch is the Nissin Donbei.

This top-selling instant noodle contains Kitsune Udon, a hearty Japanese dish made with thick, chewy wheat noodles, a slice of deep-fried tofu, and a smoked bonito dashi broth. It’s a favourite go-to of Seiji’s in the colder months, but now that our reporter was dreaming of shaved ice desserts to cool him down in summer, he came up with a cunning idea that would allow him to enjoy both of his favourite dishes at the same time.

▼ As you’ll find out shortly, there’s a reason why Seiji is wearing gloves for this experiment.

Seiji’s idea was as simple as it was surprising: he would make a Kitsune Udon shaved ice dessert. Before we could ask him to reconsider his actions, he’d already lifted the lid on a Donbei he’d prepared earlier, telling us he’d added boiling water to it the day beforehand and left it to freeze in the freezer overnight.

Seiji’s culinary instinct told him that Kitsune Udon would be a scrumptious flavour for a shaved ice dessert, and it couldn’t be easier to make, as all he would need to do is plonk the mound of frozen noodles out of the container and grate it with a grater.

▼ Rubber gloves are recommended for protecting your hands against the freezing cold surface.

After a few minutes of grating, Seiji had created a mound of fluffy ice shavings that looked identical to the ones used in kakigori desserts.

The fine and airy ice shavings looked amazing, and Seiji was now certain he was a culinary genius. His sense of pride didn’t last long, though, because as soon as he lifted a spoonful to taste it, his immediate response was…

“Hmmm… I see.”

“I see” isn’t a common review for a taste test, but it’s all Seiji could utter as his taste buds tried to work out what was going on. The first thing he could sense was the taste of the soup, which was much stronger and saltier than it would be when eating the dish normally, with boiling hot water.

Furthermore, as the dish had been separated into fine particles, all the different flavours, such as the noodles, fried tofu, and the broth, had fused together into one. This made every mouthful confusing, leading Seiji to give us his final verdict…

▼ “It’s really bad”.

Seiji couldn’t quite work out why it was so bad — it may have been the fact that his brain couldn’t comprehend the idea of a freezing cold Donbei, or the fact that the ice was fluffy like a kakigori dessert but horribly salty instead of sweetly delicious.

Never one to be defeated, Seiji decided to give his idea one more chance of succeeding, by trying it out with a bowl of Sapporo Ichiban Salt Ramen.

This one was even worse, with the salt broth creating intensely salty ice shavings, and an even more pungent taste and aroma. It was as if the freezing process had amplified the smell and taste of the dish, and Seiji couldn’t manage more than one mouthful.

Like many of Seiji’s ideas, what was a brilliant plan in his head worked out to be, well… different in reality.

Still, we can’t blame him for trying, as we love kakigori and instant noodles too. Only we now know they should never be eaten together like this, and Seiji urges everyone to never try this for themselves at home.

Much like you should never drink gyoza cider, which smells like the breath of an old man who’s just eaten dumplings.

Photos: ©SoraNews24
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