Previously on RocketNewsZ, tensions flared between our reporters Yuichiro Wasai and Mr. Sato after Wasai used Mr. Sato’s mankini and returned it without washing. The two were just beginning to levitate off the ground and fight when the chief editor told them to take it outside so as not to damage the office’s complete collection of sushi cat figurines.

Knowing who pays the bills around here, both complied and went down to Shibuya Parco in Tokyo where an event was being held inviting fighters such as these two to compete by hurling kamehameha energy blasts at each other. Will these two settle their differences before it’s too late? We’ll soon find out after they manage to flag down a cab.

It was a drizzling day in front of the Parco building but the mood was electric. Dozens of would-be fighters came out to test their might. The event was held from 5 to 8 February to celebrate the release of the PS4 game Dragon Ball Xenoverse.

Before fighting, each challenger gets a power level reading with a face scanner. Mr. Sato was instructed to make the meanest face he could for the best results. As he snarled, Mr. Sato saw his level rise to a hefty 19,957. Furthermore his rival Wasai only got 13,219.

▼ Let’s forget that it says Mr. Sato is “62 years old” for now.


Things were looking good for Mr. Sato. “I’m gonna crush that mankini-soiling worm,” he said as they took the stage. Power levels alone wouldn’t win the day, however. The fighters were both instructed to shout “KaaaaMeeeeHaaaaMeeeeHaaaaaaaaaa!” as powerfully as they could for a stronger wave attack. Also, the fighter who could lower their center of gravity the best would get an advantage.

It was a surprisingly sophisticated set-up and that was valuable information, but the time for talk was over.

Despite his lower power level, Wasai managed to hunker down enough to pull a draw in this struggle. Mr. Sato was not pleased. It was time to take things to the next level. It was time to become Super Saiyan Sato.

The yellow-haired reporter could feel his power levels surging straight out of his pants. He thought it must have been in the millions if not tens of millions by this point. With revenge burning in his eyes Super Saiyan Sato dragged Wasai – who was sipping on a milk tea at the time – back to the stage by his collar.

“Let’s settle this now, MAGGOT!” boomed Super Saiyan Sato.

With the might of a thousand suns, he stared down the power meter for his updated level…only to find it had dropped to a mere 10,004. Not only that his age was now appraised at 70.

That still wasn’t even the worst of it. Wasai, apparently angered by his tea session getting interrupted, had revealed his true form: Funky Wasai. Super Saiyan Sato gazed at the reader and shouted in disbelief “It’s over ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY THREE THOUSAAAAAAAANNND!!!!”

He considered his vast arsenal of excuses for a way out of this situation but it was too late. The staff ushered Super Saiyan Sato and Funky Wasai in his second form to the stage for their second bout.

When the dust settled, Super Saiyan Sato had gone down just like Yamcha before him.

Although satisfied with his victory, Wasai felt empty having crushed Super Saiyan Sato like a bug and regretted letting something so trivial as a dirty mankini get between their friendship.

So, he decided to assemble a team of other top fighters at the event to search for the legendary Dragon Balls and wish for Mr. Sato’s resurrection. His first choice was a high school girl they saw earlier who clocked in at a hefty 800,000 on the scouter.

Will Funky Wasai collect all of the balls in time to save Mr. Sato? Or, will the high school girl betray him at the last minute and wish for Arashi tickets instead? Find out on the next episode of…RocketNewsZ!

Source:Kamehameha Dragon Ball Xenoverse (Japanese)
Photos: RocketNews24

The stage was set at Shibuya – literally.

“Ossu! I’m Sato, the strongest fighter at RocketNews24!”


This here machine measures power levels.”

If you make an intense face it will give you a better level.”

DoRyaaaaaa! See, power level: 19,957. Not too shabby.”

▼ “You also get a ticket that has a QR code. With it you can watch a video of yourself later on YouTube.”

That’s Wasai. He’s a chump so he only got a 13,219 power level.”

Time to face my opponent.”




“It’s also possible to get a red beam. I don’t know how though.

“Oh, I almost forgot Wasai’s there too.

“Gha!? How can this be? He’s only 13,000!



“Wasai!!! You’re through this time!

“What?! He’s become stronger than a Super Saiyan Sato!




Wasai: “Worm.”

With the QR code you could get a little manga image of yourself and watch the video.

[ Read in Japanese ]