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High school girls. In all seriousness, are they aliens??

Japanese Twitter users delight in sharing the perplexing, nonsensical, contradictory, or downright outrageous behaviors that they observe high school girls engaging in around the country. Below, we’ve gathered together a sampling of some such anecdotes for your reading pleasure. What strange escapades are the girls up to now?

1. How old did you say??

“At McDonald’s, I overheard a high school girl saying, ‘Older guys really are the best. They’ve calmed down a lot by then.’ Her friend asked, ‘Hm? So how old are you thinking?’, and she replied, ’28 years old.’ There’s no way that a 28-year-old getting involved with a high schooler is more mature.”

2. An oddly satisfying sight

“Today, I saw a man and his high school-aged daughter shopping at the supermarket. They looked fairly in-sync with each other. I made a sketch since it’s pretty uncommon to see a father with his older daughter out and about like that.

Top picture: Girl–dyed red hair, super short skirt, total gyaru, following closely behind her father silently, etc.; Father–‘Let’s see…carrots…’

Bottom picture: Father–[in a loud voice] ‘Where’s the yakisoba!? Girl–‘It’s over there.’ The father is cute, and the girl is cute as she calmly gives him directions.”

3. They might be on to something…

“On the train a group of high school girls were talking about a time machine and I found myself eavesdropping. One of them pointed out, ‘Since the future still hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t that mean that nothing would be there if I went forward in time?’ She completely threw me for a loop. I’m a sci-fi kind of guy, so I always just assumed that there would be something there.”

4. Do you realize what you’re saying?

“A conversation between high school girls that I heard at McDonald’s: ‘I wish he’d realize that it means I hate him if I don’t answer his messages.’ ‘I know, girls can’t just say it outright.’ ‘Yeah, they’d usually realize it, right?’ Then the conversation changed topic: ‘I don’t get messages from him anymore.’ ‘Whaaat.’ ‘I don’t know why…it hurts…’ ‘You won’t be able to understand unless he tells you using words.’ …Huh?”

▼ Did you know? There’s even a Twitter account in Japan called “High school girls at McDonald’s” (@mcdonaldsjk), which collects the conversations of high school girls that the owner hears while eating at the popular burger chain. No joke.

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5. You’re getting off where!? 

“I got on the train and heard a high school girl asking, ‘Where are we getting off again?’ Her friend answered, ‘The name is something like North Korea [in Japanese, North Korea is called Kita-Chosen]. I was wondering where they’d get off, and it turned out to be a place called Kita-Asaka [which in written Japanese could also be read as Kita-Choka]. Now it all makes sense.”

6. A secret code

“If I message my friend ‘I’m at such-and-such a place,’ and I get ‘Pi?’ in reply, it means she’s asking, ‘Are you with your boyfriend?’ In response to that, ‘Pi’ means ‘Yup, I’m with him so I can’t meet up right now.’ Schoolgirls live in their own extremely high-context world.”

▼ Some net users hypothesized that the nonsense ‘pi’ sounds came from Pippi, the Japanese name for the Pokémon Clefairy.  

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7. Keeping up with the seasons

“Just now at the station I kept hearing a girl gushing, ‘Your hair looks just like autumn–just like it!’ When I turned to look, the tips of the friend’s hair were dyed green.”

8. Run, Takayuki, run!

“On the train now, there’s a high school girl standing next to me holding onto the support strap who’s got ‘milk, natto, eggs, punch Takayuki’ written on the back of her hand. Takayukis of Japan, you’d best be on guard.”

9. Error, cannot process

“I saw a group of about eight high school girls when I left my office. They were saying stuff like ‘I’m so tired,’ ‘I really wanna eat salted beef tongue!’, ‘What time did you go to bed last night?’, ‘My boyfriend’s so mean,’ ‘Let’s go to karaoke!’, ‘My contacts hurt…’, ‘I forgot my bag!’, and ‘I just wanna go home.’ How the heck do they even communicate?”

10. I’m flattered you think so, but I can’t actually read your mind.

“I don’t understand girls’ ways of thinking!

Comic: The irrationality of a woman’s heart [read right to left, top to bottom].

Top row: In high school, I had a girlfriend. ‘Oh, I got a message!’ Message: 2007–‘Work hard today in school!’

Middle row:
I’m so happy to get mail from her! Phone is ringing: ‘Hel’–‘BREAK UP WITH ME.’ ‘Hey, wait a minute, what’s goin–‘ ‘You don’t know? You’re an imbecile. The worst.’

Bottom row:
 [girl] ‘Usually after my good morning message I put in a sun mark. But today I put in a different one. Can’t you tell that I’m lonely? Usually people can tell. Worry about me.’ There’s no way I could’ve known, but I apologized with everything I’d got.”

Yep, there definitely appear to be some aliens in the above bunch. Good luck trying to figure out which ones are real and which ones are from outer space if you ever run into one!

Source: CuRAZY
Featured image: Twitter/@ringooooooooooz (edited by RocketNews24)
Insert images: Twitter/mcdonaldsjkBulbapedia