“He’s not fit to be my daughter’s boyfriend,” Dad declares after witnessing junior high school boy’s lack of fighting game skills.
The first time a father meets his daughter’s boyfriend is a complicated moment. After years of enjoying a position as her archetype of dependable masculinity and gentlemanly gallantry, he has to come to terms with the fact that she’s found someone else to fill those roles.
Some fathers respond to this with the emotional balance and security befitting a man who’s old enough to have children. Others, though, like Japanese Twitter user @buppa_stone, have a somewhat less mature way of sorting through their feelings.
@buppa_stone has a daughter who’s in junior high, and said daughter has a special guy in her life. She recently brought him over to the house to meet her family, prompting @buppa_stone to send out a string of tweets, starting with one sent just before 6 p.m. last Monday.
▼ “My daughter just introduced her boyfriend to us.”
娘が彼氏紹介してきた
— 妖怪ゲームジジイ(49) (@buppa_stone) December 11, 2017
No problems so far, but it turns out that @buppa_stone and his daughter’s boyfriend have a common interest: video games. Specifically, they both enjoy fighting games, including the long-running Guilty Gear series. By their very nature, though, fighting games are all about competition, and @buppa_stone’s competitive juices were soon flowing like a raging river.
▼ “This punk kid says he wants to take me on in Guilty Gear, so I’m gonna teach him a lesson. I’m hiding out in the bathroom right now, but I’m totally going to show him what’s what. Oh, and gamers like him who use the character Slayer are shits, so I’m not going to let him get away with that.”
こいつちゃんとギルティギアで俺に挑戦してくるらしいからシメてきますね今トイレに逃げ込んでたけどちゃんとシメる、あとスレイヤー使いはやっぱりクソだと分かったクソガキ許さんからな
— 妖怪ゲームジジイ(49) (@buppa_stone) December 11, 2017
▼ Guilty Gear Xrd Rev 2, the title the two would battle on.
So less than a half hour after @buppa_stone’s first tweet, he and the boyfriend grabbed controllers and crossed digital swords.
▼ “Let the holy war begin.”
聖戦に赴く
— 妖怪ゲームジジイ(49) (@buppa_stone) December 11, 2017
The two decided to see who could rack up ten wins first, and while @buppa_stone’s tweets show he can talk the talk, he can walk the walk too, as he defeated his young adversary and sent out a string of victory tweets, starting at 8:11.
▼ ”10-6!!!!!!!!!! It’s over!!!!!!!!!!!! We’re done here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
10-6!!!!!!!!!!終わり!!!!!!!!!!!!閉廷!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
— 妖怪ゲームジジイ(49) (@buppa_stone) December 11, 2017
▼ “I’ve been playing Guilty Gear since the first game in the series [released in 1998]. No way I was going to get beat by a junior high school kid.”
初代からGGやってていまさら中学生に負けるわけないやろw
— 妖怪ゲームジジイ(49) (@buppa_stone) December 11, 2017
▼ “I’ve defeated him. He’s not fit to be my daughter’s boyfriend.”
俺が勝ったので彼氏さんではない
— 妖怪ゲームジジイ(49) (@buppa_stone) December 11, 2017
But apparently Dad’s gloating was a little too much for the rest of the family to handle, and when dinner time rolled around…
▼ “By the way, no one made anything for me to eat.”
ところで俺の夕飯が無いのですが
— 妖怪ゲームジジイ(49) (@buppa_stone) December 11, 2017
▼ “I got kicked out of the house, so I’ll go buy some cigarettes and rice balls.”
家を追い出されたのでタバコ買ってきます…おにぎり買ってくるか
— 妖怪ゲームジジイ(49) (@buppa_stone) December 11, 2017
▼ “I’m the worst in my family at Guilty Gear Xrd R2, and this wet-behind-the-ears kid can’t even beat me? He shouldn’t be allowed in our house.”
言うてXrdR2時点で家庭内ランキング俺が一番下だし俺も倒せないような青二才に敷居跨がせるわけにはいかんでしょ
— 妖怪ゲームジジイ(49) (@buppa_stone) December 11, 2017
▼ “They finally let me back in, but, still there’s no dinner for me.”
やっと入れて貰えたけどやっぱり夕飯は抜き
— 妖怪ゲームジジイ(49) (@buppa_stone) December 11, 2017
Winning always feels good, as does finding out that you’re not so old that you’ve lost your edge at youthful pastimes. Still, it’s a pretty poor display of sportsmanship, and one can’t help but wonder how @buppa_stone would have reacted if he’d lost.
Source: Hachima Kiko
Follow Casey on Twitter, where he’s going to have to remember not to do this when he has kids.
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