SoraNews24’s Mr. Sato cracks the recent conundrum of one of the most pungent foods that plague Shinkansen passengers, but you’ll need his bravery and commitment to pull it off.
We all know and love SoraNews24’s resident hero and food queen Mr. Sato (even if that’s technically not his real name). Whether dining with trim supermodels, sampling artistically trimmed bonsai desserts or pampering himself with a foliage trimming treatment , he’s always getting into interesting escapades and handling them with aplomb.
▼ This is a man who’s not afraid to live his truth.
So of course he had a unique solution to his latest dilemma: the pork bun on the bullet train.
When you’re travelling from Osaka to Tokyo by Shinkansen, it’s expected you’ll bring back a present. One of the most popular regional gifts from Osaka are the scrumptious, savory meat buns served up by 551 Hourai, which are boxed and chilled to take home – but while you’re in the line buying the boxes, breathing in that scintillating scent of seasoned pork, you’ll probably end up buying an extra few of the freshly baked ones to snack on.
▼ Just follow your nose to find a 551 Hourai stand
But wait! As of this spring, there’s been a controversy around these piping portions of pork. Opening a hot meat bun from 551 Hourai also means forcing that rich, meaty smell on everyone else in your cabin – and people are extremely angry about that, as it turns out.
Now, we’ve already seen AV model Kana Momonogi’s resourceful answer to this dilemma. Mr. Sato had a feeling he could do one better, and with a way lower risk of attracting awkward stares.
Read on for his handy step-by-step guide!
● STEP ONE: Procure your chilled souvenir buns, and grab a couple hot ones for the road
▼ Be prepared to wait a while; these are hot sellers!
Obviously, you need your base ingredients. Try not to wolf them down right out of the box – the whole point of this plan is to enjoy them in the comfort of your seat on the bullet train.
● STEP TWO: Go to Starbucks
Huh?
You may be wondering what on Earth Starbucks has to do with 551 Hourai buns, but Mr. Sato assures you that visiting the coffee chain is a CRUCIAL step. This is the key ingredient to the plan – the meaty filling, if you will. Order a drink, but make sure it comes in a plastic cup with a straw and a cap to seal it with.
▼ Mr. Sato smiles as he models one such cup
You might be tempted by the delicious Frappucino offerings, but Mr. Sato advises to steer clear and opt for a simple iced coffee instead. Frappucinos come with a larger straw, which might let too many of our secrets waft out.
▼ Drain your beverage of choice, then rinse out the cup thoroughly. You don’t want to leave a lingering taste of coffee water.
● STEP THREE: Unleash the Portable Blender
What, do you mean you don’t have one? You can buy handheld blenders that charge via USB these days, and they’re super convenient when you’re out in the field and need to blend something. Come back when you have one. Of course, as a professional traveller, Mr. Sato already had his to hand.
▼ Ever the considerate citizen, Mr. Sato leaves the station exit to do his blending
You can probably tell where this is going. Take out your hot buns, and remove the packaging…
The meat bun might be a little big for the portable blender, so make sure to break it up a bit first.
▼ Separating it into halves should do the trick.
All that meat and bread alone in the blender could jam up the blades, so Mr. Sato recommends adding a generous dash of water first.
Oh, one more thing: make sure the blender is level before you turn it on, and hold it firmly. You don’t want to accidentally vomit pork bun slop all over yourself. That would defeat the purpose of this endeavor.
▼ You should be left with a creamy liquid.
▼ Mr. Sato pours the newly blended concoction into the plastic cup and seals it up.
▼ Mission complete!
Ta-dah! Who would look at this and think “oh no, one of those stinky 551 buns”? No one, that’s who. This is obviously nothing more than an inoffensive (?) Starbucks latte.
Mr. Sato did one last definitive test to ensure no protests of pungency would haunt him on the train. Taking a deep whiff next to the top of the container, he couldn’t smell a thing! Hovering directly above the straw let a little of that pork aroma eke into his nostrils, but that was it.
With his meat bun latte prepped, all that remained was for our favorite reporter to take his seat and relax with a recent best-selling paperback. Unfortunately the book was pretty difficult to read… something about living confidently as yourself? Perhaps he’ll pack reading glasses for his next trip.
▼ The book is titled “Having the Courage to be Hated“. Hmm…
The train journey was a success! Mr. Sato arrived safely at Tokyo, meat bun in hand, filled with a new burning passion to live confidently like only Mr. Sato can.
He left us with these encouraging words:
“Just be yourself, and who knows what doors will open for you! I’m cheering you on too, with all my heart!“
While we’re all for exciting drinkables here at SoraNews24, we understand if you’d prefer to keep this door closed.
▼ Here’s a quick video recap for adventurous passengers!
And if you just can’t get enough of Mr. Sato’s shenanigans, stop by our report on his top 5 charm points and don’t forget to admire his glamorous new ZOZO suit, too.
Photos: ©SoraNews24
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