Our northern reporter dares to dream of a banana that can drive a nail through wood.

Like many parts of the world, Japan’s northern island prefecture of Hokkaido has been gripped with especially low temperatures. Normally, this would bum people out, but our Hokkaido-based writer K. Nagahashi saw it as an opportunity to have some fun.

First, he left a pair of wet jeans outside and made some ghost pants that stood up by themselves.

That was all well and good, but what Nagahashi really wanted was to make a banana hard enough to be able to hammer nails into wood, like he saw people do in other parts of the world. The temperature in his area at the time was hovering between -6 and -13℃ (21 and 9℉) which according to the internet was below the -3℃ (26℉) needed to freeze produce.

So he took a nanner and left it out in the snow for a while. However, after six hours it was still noticeably soft, probably because of the sunshine. So he decided to keep it out there a little longer — two days to be exact.

Feeling that the fruit had sufficiently hardened, Nagahashi walked out of his home, whistling a happy tune and carrying a small piece of lumber and box of nails. He dug the banana out of the snow, lined up a nail, and uh… oh….

This was unexpected.

The nail easily pierced through the frozen food, immediately dashing Nagahashi’s dream of a banana hammer.

This was nowhere near as easy as it looked on TV, but he didn’t come this far to give up. Where mother nature had failed him, modern technology would take over.

Leaving his now-thoroughly-abused banana in the freezer overnight, Nagahashi dreamt of building a kick-ass entertainment unit out of banana-driven nails and wood. The next morning, he tried again, starting with a few little taps to confirm the integrity of the fruit.

It appeared to hold, so he decided to put his elbow into it and give it a good drive…

▼ Success!!!

It took some trial and error, but Nagahashi can now say he lives somewhere that’s cold enough to hammer a nail with a banana. Sure, that isn’t exactly true since he used his freezer, but we can’t bring ourselves to break his heart and tell him that.

I mean, look at how happy he is.

By the way, at our organization there is no greater sin that wasting food. This banana is no exception, as our writer decided to make a nanner hammer milkshake.

▼ Before

▼ After

By the way, the US Department of Agriculture strongly advises against consuming foods that have been “frozen” in the snow, as the sun and fluctuating temperatures can keep it warm enough for harmful bacteria to still form within it.

So please don’t try this at home. We’d tell Nagahashi the same, but he just looks so darn happy. How can you say no to that face?

With climate change ushering in a new ice-age, the potential for frozen bananas to be useful as tools has never been greater. So this information could be valuable someday, and if any scientific committee out there wants to bestow an award on our brave investigative reporter, we’ll let you know what hospital he’s getting his stomach pumped in.

Images: SoraNews24
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