Mr. Sato shoves vibrating plastic lips in his mouth in hopes of reclaiming his youth.

As time continues to rob us all of our vitality day by day, we often search for ways to stave off aging. Although seemingly immortal at times, our writer Mr. Sato is no different, and while struggling with the poor eyesight and memory that comes with getting older, he would at least like to appear younger if possible.

▼ Mr. Sato, shouting at a pack of cookies

He’s been pretty successful so far. Intense pole dance training has undone years of horrendous eating habits and left him an lean, mean, Internet-writing machine. But one area where pole dancing doesn’t help very much is his face.

To aid in improving vitality in his cheeks Mr. Sato consulted no one, and as a result ended up with the Lift Up Trainer Buru Buru Buru Ko for 1,408 yen (US$13) including tax.

It certainly looked like it meant business, and promised to strengthen face muscles through soothing vibrations.

Mr. Sato’s failing eyesight made it hard to read the instructions but it all seemed pretty self-explanatory; just stick it in your mouth and pull the fake plastic tongue out from the comically over-sized lips.

By the way, in case you’re wondering about the background in the photos, having been exiled from the office for spilling his 12-Liter (3-gallon) Starbucks coffee mug and causing minor flood damage, Mr. Sato was forced to work out of various internet cafes and shared workspaces for the time being.

It was a very pretty product; that much he could be sure of, but could it really convert his nicotine-saturated, baseball-glove of a face into one that would be mistaken for a member of BTS?

The only way to find out was to let it rip.

▼ “Buruburuburuburuburuburu…”

The vibrating was very gentle, making Mr. Sato wonder if it was really working. Plus the shaking only lasted a couple seconds at a time, and required constant pulling, which was really a drag.

▼ An engaged worker

It didn’t seem to be working at all, when suddenly Mr. Sato caught a glimpse of himself in a reflective surface, laughed at how ridiculous he looked, and made an important revelation.

▼ “HA!”

The power of a beautiful smile had been inside him all along.

Lift Up Trainer Buru Buru Buru Ko might help faces after long enough usage, but before sinking half-dozens of dollars into this type of high-tech gadgetry, try maintaining a positive attitude like our caffeine-addled, mildly destructive reporter does. That alone can do wonders to both how you see the world and how others see you.

Photos ©SoraNews24
● Want to hear about SoraNews24’s latest articles as soon as they’re published? Follow us on Facebook and Twitter!
[ Read in Japanese ]