An idea that could only come from the mind of our crack reporter.

Our veteran reporter Mr. Sato isn’t ordinarily one to toot his own horn, but when you’ve been in the business as long as he has, all those years of experience sometimes coagulate into bursts of unadulterated genius. At least, that’s how he was feeling when his latest flash of inspiration came on a chilly day at SoraNews24 headquarters in Tokyo.

Like at most Japanese offices, everyone shares one large room at SoraNews24 HQ. Mr. Sato’s desk is located next to the window, which is a pretty nice perk in the afternoon, when he can enjoy a little extra natural sunlight. Once the sun goes down, though, that window-side location mean’s Mr. Sato has one of the chilliest seat in the office, and with chilly winter nights having arrived, he decided it was time to do something about this problem.

So he ran out and bought a bunch of plastic trash bags.

Mr. Sato’s idea was to create a “wearable heater.” All he needed to do was to somehow connect the office’s heating units, which are mounted on the interior walls, to his body.

So he started pulling out trash bags from the pack, snipping off their bottoms with a pair of scissors, and taping the bags together, forming an extra-long tube of pliable plastic that was open on both ends.

Once the tube was long enough, he got up on a chair and taped one end over the vents of one of the heater units, and the other end to the other unit.

Next, he needed a way to funnel the heat down to his body, so he cut out a hole in the bottom of the tube near its midpoint, then started attaching another series of bags to it with tape.

Once this tube was long enough, all that was left to do was to cut open a hole for his face so that he could breathe…

…and slide on in to this T-shaped tunnel of warmth!

▼ Time-lapse video of the project

With the air blowing from the heaters being channeled directly to the top of his head, it was as cozy as an upside-down kotatsu. He was so comfortable that he suspected his coworkers had become envious of his innovative luxury, and called out to fellow reporter Ansuzu to confirm that suspicion.

▼ “Hey, Ansuzu! Jealous?”
“No. Terrified.”

Hmm…so maybe Mr. Sato’s invention is so forward-thinking that it’s hard for others to fully appreciate it? No matter. He’d created this wearable heater for himself and he was feeling great!

Of course, there was still work to be done, so Mr. Sato had wisely made the branching tube that came down to his body long enough so that he could sit at his desk while still wrapped in this weird warmth.

Typing away, he felt a little sorry for the rest of the team, seeing them drinking hot tea and coffee as a countermeasure to the cold, while he could comfortably knock back chilled water, and even found himself craving some shaved ice.

Really, Mr. Sato can only think of two ways his idea could be improved on.

First, he probably should have cut the space for his face a little lower in the tube. While the position had been fine for when he was standing, while seated he had to keep his head at an unnatural angle, which started to tire out his neck muscles after a while.

Also, Mr. Sato’s wearable heater may be a poor choice if you have simmering, ongoing feuds with anyone you share your office with. In the latest flareup of hostilities between Mr. Sato and fellow reporter Masanuki Sunakoma, while Mr. Sato was distracted Masanuki snatched the remote control for the heater/AC unit…

…and switched it over to start pumping cold air into Mr. Sato’s tube, as vengeance for something neither one of them really remembers.

Aside from those two minor quibbles though? Mr. Sato can’t see any drawback to this ingenious, practical, and totally normal-looking way of staying warm in winter.

Disclaimer: As always, we advise readers to not attempt Mr. Sato’s ideas at home, and make no promises that his wearable heater won’t result in suffocation, fires, or embarrassment without a full team of supportive coworkers standing by and keeping a watch on things.

Photos ©SoraNews24
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