I feel so vindicated.

Since the dawn of fast food in Japan, a large rift between the population has constantly threatened to tear the country apart. I’m talking, of course, about how people in the eastern Kanto region call McDonald’s “Makku” whereas people in the western Kansai area give it the nickname “Makudo.”

Personally, as a Kansai resident, I always knew Kansai was in the right here but for some reason, Kanto hardheadedly clung to the sinking ship that is “Makku.” I mean, come on, it lacks key information about the name. How am I supposed to know if they’re talking about MakkuDonald’s, MakkuGyver, MakkuGill University, MakkuBeth, or MakkuAfee antivirus software? Context?! Who’s got time for that?

Well, it matters no longer as McDonald’s subtly put an end to a controversy once and for all, in a recent promotional video for their shaker fries which featured Hatsune Miku. The video, made in honor of Miku Day (9 March), featured the pixelated pixie singing a little ditty about flavored French fries.

About 49 seconds into the song, Miku sings the line “Try going to Makudo.” Now, having the star power of Hatsune Miku in the Makudo faction is devastating enough to Makku proponents, but even more damning is that this video is posted on the official social media accounts of McDonald’s Japan.

In the past, McDonald’s has been careful not to take sides in this controversy and even released different versions of the same commercial to air with the corresponding nickname and region. However, since this song has been posted on the Internet, it is intended for national consumption and is ipso facto telling the nation as a whole that they are Makudo and they are proud of it.

And with that small but decisive proclamation, there was much rejoicing on the Internet, while a few Makku diehards tried to cling to their remaining shreds of hope and specious reasoning.

“The Makku are defeated LOL!”
“Well, we all knew this anyway, right?”
“Fine, then I guess we’re calling it the ‘Big Makudo’ now?”
“Miku has just made my s***list.”
“But hey call them Makku Shakes! THEY CALL THEM MAKKU SHAKES!”
“Makudo just sounds ugly though.”
“Makku sucks!”
“It’s even listed as ‘MCD’ on the New York Stock Exchange.”
“A ‘Makku’ is a computer.”
“These abbreviations are usually four characters, so how about ‘Makudona?'”

The last comment makes a fair point, in that a lot of Japanese abbreviations are shrunk down to four Japanese characters like Insuta (Instagram), Famicon (NES), or sabusuku (subscription). However, restaurant names do tend to be three, such as Misudo (Mister Donut), Kenta (KFC), and Sutaba (Starbucks).

So, it looks like no further discussion on the matter is needed. McDonald’s shall henceforth be known as “Makudo” across Japan and anyone caught calling it “Makku” will be punished to the fullest extent of the law regarding such matters. Hopefully, now, the nation can begin to heal.

Source: YouTube/マクドナルド公式（McDonald’s）, X/@McDonaldsJapan, Hachima Kiko
Featured image: YouTube/マクドナルド公式（McDonald’s）
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