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Here at RocketNews24, we like to keep abreast of the pioneering developments in the separate but equally important fields of technology and hamburgers. Having already marvelled at the fries holder from McDonald’s and recently hearing that Burger King had developed a hands-free Whopper Holder, we were immediately filled with a level of avarice that usually makes people buy a pair of overalls and move to the Yukon to pan for gold.

Unfortunately, Burger King’s shoulder and neck-mounted hamburger holder is only available as a giveaway for customers lucky enough to win one, and since the promotion isn’t being held in Japan, we were left with only one option: design and built one of our own.

Some may be confused by our display of industriousness in creating something that appeases our laziness, and we do appreciate the complexity of this dichotomy. But we’re scientists, not philosophers (at least for today), and such gossamer questions are outside our field of expertise.

We procured our supplies at Tokyu Hands, a chain of megastores that sells everything from lumber to bath towels. After picking out a length of bendable iron pipe, a tea strainer, wire, glue, and some screws and nuts, we raced back to our laboratory where we started our delicate development process of 100 percent trial and error.

▼ Our components

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▼ Blueprints? We don’t need no stinkin’ blueprints!

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▼ Finished! The pipe is flexible enough to adjust by hand, but firm enough to hold its shape

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▼ The loaded prototype. Looking good!

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Now ready for field testing, we walked to our local McDonald’s to pick up a burger. We suppose we could have gone to Burger King, but our feelings were still a little hurt that they’d forced us to make our own holder.

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▼ The frame stays in place fine, but there’s just something forlorn about an empty burger holder

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▼ Man walks on the surface of the moon. Man walks without having to hold his burger. Both great moments in history.

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▼ And now, the moment of truth

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▼ Success!

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▼ It also works with fries. Sort of.

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We immediately put our hard-won freedom to work by using our smartphone and eating our burger at the same time. We suppose we could have just put the sandwich down between bites, but in today’s fast-paced society, what modern go-getter has the time to do that?

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You could also use the burger holder to continue playing games on your 3DS or PS Vita. Filling yourself up, savoring the flavor of your meal, and being entertained all at once might just be the greatest cocktail of happiness since rum and coke.

The holder’s possible applications aren’t limited to the technological, either. It’s also perfect for eating while reading or commuting. For the most hard-core of multitaskers, it should even be functional while jogging, although we imagine the following indigestion would far outweigh the potential time savings.

All of these ideas are topped, of course, by the future vision of our holder’s designer: using your freed-up hands to eat a bowl of ramen or plate of curry simultaneously with the burger, combining three of RocketNews24’s great culinary passions.

We knew he was the project head for a reason.

Photos: RocketNews24
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