Hey! It’s perfectly normal for a young man to be interested in that sort of thing!
If someone has a shameful secret to hide, we say he has a skeleton in the closet, but when you stop and think about it, it’s sort of a strange phrase. As any healthy young man knows, the place where you hide potential embarrassments is under your bed, particularly if what you’re hiding is a stash of nocturnal companionship substitutes.
But while hiding your skin mags beneath where you slumber gives you easy access to them on sleepless nights, the downside is that a hiding place can’t be at once popular and effective. As a matter of fact, if you’ve got a set of drawers under your mattress they may as well have “Search here!” painted on them, because that’s exactly where anyone wanting to find some dirt on you, such as a prying sibling, is going to look.
For example, Japanese Twitter user @riko_riko0106 claims she was looking for something in her house, and thought, for some reason, that it might be under her younger brother’s bed. Honestly, it sounds a bit more like she just wanted to do a bit of snooping/teasing while her brother was out of the house, since she bothered to send out a tweet announcing that she was about to open the drawer underneath his mattress. “But no matter what she finds, your big sister won’t be shocked,” she declared. “That’s just part of the darkness that all boys have inside them when they’re going through puberty.”
今から弟のベッドの下の引き出しを開けます
— 赤りん子 (@73__per) May 19, 2016
何が出てきてもお姉ちゃんは驚かないよ それは思春期男子の抱える確かな闇だからね pic.twitter.com/vep31S1v8V
While @riko_riko0106’s words were kind (and Japan at times can take a very matter-of-fact stance regarding sexual fetishes), they were in stark contrast to her invasive actions, so it’s sort of hard to get a grasp on her actual sentiments. And in any case, riko_riko0106 wasn’t even able to keep her promise about not being shocked.
You can’t really blame her, though. Sure, in the same situation, you might be prepared to open that drawer and see all manner of naked women, animals, and hot and cold ice cream toppings, but would you have expected this?
なんでだよ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/YtI3Ko9qQx
— 赤りん子 (@73__per) May 19, 2016
Instead of a pile of porno, it turns out @riko_riko0106’s little brother sleeps above a treasure trove of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. “Why?!?!?” screamed the baffled big sister, who estimated there to be easily over a thousand cards in the drawer.
The answer, of course, is that fans’ love for Yu-Gi-Oh! runs deep, and with decades’ worth of monsters, traps, and spells having been produced, it can be hard to pare down your collection to just a select few. So in the end, maybe @riko_riko0106’s little brother isn’t quite as grown up yet as she thinks he is, or, maybe, he just knows not to hide his porn in the most obvious place.
Follow Casey on Twitter, and he promises not to snoop under your bed unless he really needs a Dark Magician Girl card.
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