Finally, an event that everyone can enjoy.

In Japan, 3 March is traditionally known as Hina Matsuri and is a celebration of young girls as they grow into adulthood. Activities include setting up an exquisite display of Japanese dolls featuring a noble family and eating snacks and festive sushi. However, you probably notice that this event celebrating only girls is leaving out a very important segment of Japan’s population.

That’s right, I’m talking about fart-lovers.

Out of all the music, food, and festivities surrounding Hina Matsuri, not a single one is oriented to people who love to smell farts — be they their own or other people’s. This tragic wrong is about to be righted, however, by the upcoming event Everyone Listen to the Farts of Beautiful Women Party Vol. 2.

Normally, I’d give a run-down of the event, but the press release was so beautifully written I will translate it verbatim instead:

“All 120 million fart fans across the country, we are sorry to have kept you waiting so long.
Back by popular demand, ‘Everyone Listen to the Farts of Beautiful Women Party Vol. 2’ will be held!
Buff! Puu! Buree! Buha! Psuuuu!
Why don’t you experience all of your favorite farts live?
Lefkada Shinjuku is the only place in the world where you can stimulate your senses of sight and smell with beautiful women delivering various styles of farts!!”

Now that’s a copy! The bold assumption that 94 percent of the population of Japan are fart-lovers was an especially nice touch. It was also nice of them to apologize for the delay, especially since volume one was only four months ago.

The event will be graced by the three farting stars of the adult film industry:

Miu Akemi is the only returning cast member…

https://twitter.com/miu_akemi0907/status/959576617247846400

…and she will be joined by newcomers Tomoka Akari…

…and Saiko Yatsuhashi.

The exact details of what will happen are unclear, but considering the cast it will probably involve mature situations and farting — or, at the very least, attempts to fart seeing as the fine print at the bottom of the event page reads:

*Please understand that depending on the physical condition of the performers, farts may not come out.

There is also an Onarap Battle planned which is a delightful play on onara, the Japanese word for “fart.” In this contest, participants must freestyle rap and then end their verse with fart. Whoever can successfully punctuate their rhymes with a rectal raspberry will rule the roost in the Onarap Battle.

If you’d like to attend, you must be over 18 years old and tickets cost 4,000 yen (US$37) in advance and 4,500 yen ($42) at the door. Those who purchase in advance will also receive a “Fart Present” as an added bonus.

So what are you waiting for? Break out your air purifier and yams, and get ready for Everyone Listen to the Farts of Beautiful Women Vol. 2! It’s sure to be a blast.

Event information
Everyone Listen to the Farts of Beautiful Women Vol. 2
美少女のオナラをみんなで聴く会　Vol. 2
Tokyo, Shinjuku, Shinjuku 5-12-4, Rire Shinjuku Building B1, Lefkada Shinjuku
東京都 新宿区新宿 5-12-4 リーレ新宿ビルB1 LEFKADA新宿
Hours: Opens 5:30 p.m. (3 March, 2018)
Tickets: 4,000 yen (advance), 4,500 yen (door)
Drinks cost 500 yen each and there is a one-drink minimum

Source, top image: Evelt