Lingerie maker seeks to address the annoying problem called “PK.”

Let’s take a moment to add to our collection of useful vocabulary they won’t teach you in Japanese class. If you take the word kuu (“to eat vigorously”), and combine it with komu (“to insert”), after a bit of pronunciation fiddling you’ll get kuikomu, which means “to ride up.” Add in pantsu (“underwear”), and you’ll get the phrase “pantsu kuikomu,” which describes the situation when your underwear is riding up into your butt crack.

The obvious solution is to just grab the encroaching fabric with your fingertips and yank it back out. However, lingerie maker Wacoal (who is always down for some unusual marketing) realizes that this isn’t such an attractive option for demure young ladies, especially those who’re in their delicate teen years and dealing with the social pressures of school life. And so the company has created a video, with accompanying song, offering ways for schoolgirls to surreptitiously fix their pantsu kuikomu, or “PK,” problems.

The video follows a trio of young ladies through the course of a day at school, during which they have to deal with multiple cases of PK, with the lyrics (full translation later in the article) combining their supposed internal monologues with solutions to their crises. For example, walking down the hall with your friends when PK strikes? Distract them by pointing out the window and saying “Hey, is that a UFO?”

Then stoop down and fix your panties while they’re looking for the flying saucer, a genuine possibility considering that Japan’s government has no existing framework for defense from alien invasion.

Other scenarios covered include pretending to search for a key in your pocket after hopping off your bike following a PK-inducing ride to school, covering your backside with your schoolbag as you use your other hand to adjust your undies, and high-stepping in gym class to work out an unwanted wedge of fabric.

It’s a little odd that the singer is a guy, but if you’d prefer this slice-of-life story to be narrated by a woman, there are alternate versions of the standard-Japanese video which use Osaka, Nagoya, Tohoku, and Hakata dialects, all of which feature female vocalists.

▼ Osaka

▼ Nagoya

▼ Tohoku

▼ Hakata

The song’s complete lyrics are:

Even though you’re just walking
Before you know it, PK! Oh no!
At times like this, stay calm
“Hey, is that a UFO?”
Distract everyone, then fix your panties.
Yeah, non-PK!

“‘morning! “ you say, hopping off your bike
But just then, PK! Oh no!
“Huh? Where…where’d I put my key?”
Pretend you’re checking your pocket
And quickly fix your panties
Yeah, non-PK!

The school stairs sure are scary!
Your hair stands on end, and super PK!
But, if you’re carrying your bag, you can use it as cover to fix your panties
No one will notice! Or so you thought…But the guy you’ve got a crush on sees you!
“My life is over!”
Yeah, non-PK!

Sitting on the floor in gym class, then getting up to jump and jump, spin and spin
Seriously PK!
At times like this, high steps and twisting your hips
You’re a PK-fixing technician!
Yeah, non-PK!

Standing up at the start of class
Yup, PK!
“I hate this!”
Writing: PK. Erasing: PK. Putting on your backpack: also PK.
At times like these, everyone experiences the mysteries of PK!
“Knock it off!”

Yeah, PK is no good!

Even if you don’t do any of these things
You can say good-bye to PK
From now on, I’m wearing non-PK panties!

As alluded to in the final line, Wacoal has just released a new line of PK-resistant panties, called Non! PK.

Retailing for around 1,300 yen (US$12), they’re designed to be comfortable yet stay in place through a variety of motions, preventing them from rising, twisting, or otherwise shifting into a PK position. They’re available for purchase here through Wacoal’s website.

And finally, to avoid any confusion, we’d like to remind our readers that SoraNews24’s Japanese -language reporter P.K. Sanjun experiences PK no more or less frequently than any other person on our staff.

Source: YouTube/ワコール Wacoal via IT Media
Top image: YouTube/ワコール Wacoal
Insert images: YouTube/ワコール Wacoal, Wacoal