That starchy smile will haunt us forever, especially after all these incredible edits.

Time to log into Twitter. Scroll, scroll. Ah, updates on a global news story. Scroll scroll. Some cute kittens. Scroll, scroll.

Wait, what was that?

Scroll back a second.

“I’ve never seen a potato look this happy.”

…Huh.

You may have seen this blissful spud before, as it gained some popularity on the Western web last year after being shared on Imgur (often paired with the caption “I don’t know if I should cook this potato or take it to the hospital”). Japanese Twitter users have given this shriveled, smiling potato a new lease of life thanks to their deft photo edits and willingness to Photoshop a moving mouth onto its chapped, gasping lips.

Initially, comments were very similar to those on the Western web. Comparisons were drawn to Voldemort, Groot, E.T., Emperor Palpatine. Kudos to @summerend_sw, though, who went the extra mile with their Voldemort comparison.

“Sorry, I lost control of myself.”

The ashy yet euphoric visage of the potato made its way onto a host of other famous characters, like Satoshi in the original Pokémon: The First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back.

“Well, I’ve already made it now.”

The original Twitter caption didn’t go unnoticed, either. The phrasing of the original tweet hardens to Pinako’s famous line in Full Metal Alchemist: “I’ve never seen a dead person look so happy.”

Then came fan art.

“I really did live a joyful life…”

Once someone animated a moving mouth onto the potato, things immediately escalated. Someone gave it a voice.

“Something wicked came over me and I voiced it. I’m so sorry.”

In the unnerving video the potato speaks with a wise, grandfatherly tone:

“Oh, something wonderful happened today. The farmer told me right to my face as she was pulling me out of the ground, ‘Ooh, you look yummy!’. Ha ha ha. I’m so glad.”

While many praised @jagisu_Stand’s superb potato voice acting skills, many were also shaken to their core by how similar the video was to a dubbed foreign film. “Looks like something out of Pixar,” one said, while another got more specific: “You sound just like Crash out of Finding Nemo.”

Surely it’s hard to improve on this piece of potato perfection? Well, there was one final incredible contribution to this treasure trove of tubers. @daisycutter7 envisioned an alternate ending for this doomed source of starch:

“But I won’t let you eat me yet! So long, suckers!”

Take a little inspiration from this bizarre potato today. Maybe you look like a haunted ghoul possessing Professor Quirrell in the first Harry Potter film, perhaps you’re shuddering on the verge of death and about to give everything up for lost. But just like this potato, you too can…er, shoot boosters out of yourself and jet off into the distance? This metaphor got away from me. Anyone for chips?

Source: Twitter/@ichiipsy via Imgur/meebit
Featured image: Twitter/@ichiipsy

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