Gacha collections so weird we can’t work out why they were even made.

At the end of July last year, a huge wall of gacha capsule toy vending machines appeared at Akihabara Station, operated by gacha maker Kenelephant and filled with weird and wonderful toys marketed towards adults. 

▼ A guide to the location of this “gacha paradise” which goes by the official name Kenele Stand.

With more than 150 vending machines stacked up next to, and on top of, each other, Kenele Stand has become the place to go in Tokyo for new and unique gacha toys you can’t find anywhere else. Our roving reporter Mr Sato recently stopped by to browse the machines, and he happened upon three in particular that he found particularly preposterous, choosing to share their absurdities with us all.

Ranking them from third to first place in terms of weirdness, we have:

▼ 3rd place: Desktop Signboard (200 yen [US$1.83])

These “desktop signs” allow you to turn your workspace into a construction space, with four colour options containing warnings like “Work in progress“, “One Way Traffic” and “Entry Prohibited“.

Each design comes with a magnetic signboard, two construction signs, and…a miniature whiteboard marker and eraser that allows you to create some personal messages of your own.

This was the tiniest whiteboard Mr Sato had ever seen, and writing the name of our Japanese-language site on it turned out to be incredibly difficult, due to the miniature size of everything.

▼ A tiny whiteboard you can hardly write on? Preposterous!

Mr Sato did like the construction signs though, and the ones he received read “Construction ahead. Thank you for your cooperation” and “Flames ahead“, which would come in handy for keeping co-workers away from his things, lest they enrage his fire within.

▼ 2nd place: Bodybuilding Calls Selection (200 yen)

As soon as Mr Sato saw this machine, he scoffed at the absurdity of it. These gacha toys were actually rubber keychains with exclamations from the world of bodybuilding printed on them. Some of the phrases included “Shoulder Melon”, “Abs Choco Monaka” and “I want to grate daikon radish on those obliques!!”.

The keychains Mr Sato received read: “A crowded train of machos” and “Butterflies on the butt”. How preposterous!

After researching more about it online, Mr Sato discovered that these phrases are commonly used at bodybuilding competitions, where audience members call out the terms to their favourites to cheer them on. “There really is a gacha toy for every niche interest out there”, Mr Sato thought, and that’s when he found the most absurd gacha at the station.

▼ First place: Heart-Pounding Male Solicitation Metal Signboards (300 yen)

At this point, Mr Sato realised that the Japanese gacha world is truly bonkers. Here he was, putting his three 100-yen coins into the slot to receive a signboard that usually only exists in darkened back alleys.

▼ These signs, looking to “recruit” men to sleep with women, come in five different designs.

Mr Sato received the “A” type design, which is one of the most common designs. This one promises to hook men up with rich women, with evening and weekend work OK!

The faded look of the sign made it look as if it had been weathered by the elements, just like the real signs you sometimes see on the sides of vending machines in alleyways. Lots of these ads are actually connected to dodgy services, where scams are rampant and new recruits are asked to pay brokerage fees, so Mr Sato doesn’t recommend calling the number on these ads in real life.

However, curiosity got the better of him here, and he put in a call to the number advertised on the miniature sign. Thankfully, it was an unused number, so he wasn’t scammed like his colleague Hirazi, but he couldn’t help but wonder how many people had dialled the number just as he did. Preposterous!

So there you have it — Mr Sato’s pick of the three most preposterous gacha on offer at Akihabara Station. Sure, they might appeal to people with some very niche tastes, but to our reporter they were utterly absurd, and he couldn’t make sense of who would’ve come up with the idea for them in the first place. Still, as we’ve seen time and time again, it’s these weird and whacky ideas that make gacha so appealing!

Location information
KENELE STAND Akihabara store / ケンエレスタンド(KENELE STAND)秋葉原店
Address: Tokyo-to, Chiyoda-ku, Sotokanda 1-17-6 Tokyo JR Akihabara Station Sobu Line Platform 6 at the back of the concourse
東京都千代田区外神田1-17-6 JR秋葉原駅改札内(総武線6番線ホーム裏コンコース)
Hours: 10 a.m. to 9 p.m.

Photos ©SoraNews24
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