Unco Inc.’s bundle includes a card that could come in very handy in certain circumstances.

The concept of Japan’s fukubukuro/lucky bags might seem weird, seeing as how you’re essentially agreeing to pay for a bundle of items without knowing what they are. The thing that makes the deal attractive, though, is that everything inside the bag is supposed to be from some popular category of merch, which is how companies like dark kawaii fashion brand Ank Rouge, Akihabara anime superstore Animate, and coffeehouse Starbucks convince fans to buy their lucky bags. It’s not so much a question of whether you’ll be lucky or unlucky, but what specific sort of good luck will manifest itself inside the bag.

However, we were braced for a much more uncertain test of our luck when we purchased the Unko Fukubukuro, or Poop Lucky Bag, which promised to be filled with items that are variations on the theme of poop, something much less broadly appealing than cute skirts, anime figures, or coffee.

If you’re wondering who would even put together a poop-themed lucky bag I the first place, the answer is Unco Inc., a rather unique fashion and accessory company based in Yokohama. Unco Inc. runs both an Unco Online Shop and a brick-and-mortar store, and we were curious, as well as a little terrified, to see what’s inside the 2,000-yen (US$12.75) Unko Fukubukuro/Poop Lucky Bag.

▼ Will it be filled with treasures, or did we just purchase a plain old sack of crap?

After making sure we were in a well-ventilated place, we started digging into the bag, and the first thing we pulled out was an Unco Inc. sticker.

▼ Ordinarily the characters うんこ are Romanized as “unko,” but the company’s official rendering is “Unco,” perhaps as a play on words between the Japanese unko (meaning “poop”) and the English “company.”

Next we found what Unco Inc. designates a “jacquard mini handkerchief,” but which we, as philistines, would probably just call it “a hand towel with a swirl of poop on it.”

▼ It seems like wiping your hands on this would make them psychologically feel dirtier.

Next to come out were three more sticker sheets, this time not requiring any Japanese-reading abilities to get their messages across.

▼ Those messages being “Golden poop!”, “Rainbow poop!”, and “A whole lot of poop!”

The stickers were followed by a trio of wristbands, one with a ring of poop coils, one with the characters for unko repeating in an endless cycle…

…and one with Unco Inc.’s mascot character Unko-tan.

▼ Believe it or not, Unko-tan is not Japan’s first anthropomorphized poop character.

Perhaps the weirdest item in the Poop Lucky Bag is the “Go To Silent Card,” which you can show to people to silently inform them that you’re currently holding in a poop or a fart (onara in Japanese).

▼ Maybe it’ll come in handy if you want to indirectly ask someone to let you cut in front of them in line for the bathroom?

Meanwhile, the most initially unsettling item was this bottle of Poop Mineral Water.

With trembling fingers, we turned the bottle around to check the ingredients, whereupon we were relieved to find that the contents are fecal matter-free. The contents of the bottle are sourced not from anyone’s ass, but from the Aso region of Kumamoto Prefecture. It’s just ordinary mineral water, but inside a bottle that’s shaped like a poop.

Finally, the very last item that dropped out of our Poop Luck Bag was…

…a regular towel? Huh.

Cautiously, we took a sniff to see if maybe it was thematically scented, but mercifully it was not. After we fully unfolded it, though, we were once again greeted by…

…the Unco Inc. emblem. So yes, no matter how many times you wash this otherwise pristinely clean-looking towel, it will always have thick, dark streaks of Unco/unko on it.

Purchased individually, these items would come to a total of a little over 4,300 yen, so the Poop Lucky Bag really is a great value, representing a savings of over 50 percent. And hey, if that “I need to poop” card saves us from even one accident, it’s money well spent.

Related: Unco.Shop
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