What is a train really?

Christmas is just around the corner, and many of us have children in our families that are really hard to shop for. It’s difficult to keep up with the changing trends, and even if you do, how can you know which Skibidi figure the kid already has?

It’s a problem our reporter Masanuki Sunakoma was facing, so he decided to check out Amazon Japan for some ideas. However, after years of seeking out the lowest-rated items sold there, his algorithm is a little skewed towards the abysmal. Despite that, he found what looked like a decent toy in the Transparent Gear Train for 2,299 yen (US$15).

It promoted itself as “the best educational toy” that “encourages children to crawl” and “makes a great gift for kids.” The body of the train is see-through, and having young ones view the rotating gears inside is thought to help them develop early mechanical concepts, imagination, cognitive ability, and motor skills.

However, going by the reviews, it was a very divisive product. People either loved it or hated it, but a majority hated it, with 62 percent of the reviews giving only one star for an average rating of 2.3. Positive comments included, “the lighting is beautiful” and “kids seem to enjoy it.” Criticisms mentioned that “It has the vibe of a seedy Shinjuku bar,” “It spins so fast you can’t see the gears moving,” and “The music is like weird EDM, so it doesn’t seem like it’s good for education.”

Parents tend to be very picky about what toys their children use, so Masanuki decided to give this train the benefit of the doubt. But just to be sure, he decided to test it out before giving it to someone, lest it catch fire and melt like that birthday candle he bought a while back.

Opening the box, he was immediately impressed to find not only three AA rechargeable batteries, but also a charger case. That’s not something often found in toys, but very much appreciated.

The train itself looked great too. It was very cute and colorful. It had a solid design and seemed like it would look really nice when lit up. He couldn’t imagine kids not liking something like this.

It was easy to set up. Masanuki just charged up the batteries and flipped the switch on the bottom of the train.

The locomotive began to emit brilliant colors in all directions.

And then it started spinning wildly…

In addition to rotating at insane speeds, it played some sort of ear-splittingly loud Chinese techno music.

It seemed to defeat the purpose of educating kids about gears and mechanics, since the thing moved so fast it was impossible to see what the gears were even doing.

Masanuki decided to try one more time with the lights turned off. Again, after turning on the switch, it radiated an array of dazzling colors.

And then…

Watching the twirling train and with Chinese music blaring in his ears, our reporter contemplated what exactly this was. It begged the question, what is a train? He wasn’t familiar with any actual trains that spun around in one place and sounded like a rave in Kowloon. Sure, it was shaped like a train, but is that enough to call it a train? We don’t call a train-shaped cookie a “train,” so why should this be one?

In that way, maybe this was an educational toy, but not in the sense of mechanics. Rather, it made Masanuki consider existentialist principles, whether it is form or function that defines the true nature of this toy. It could also be good for older people to exercise their dynamic visual acuity, which is known to degrade rapidly as we age.

It’s a pretty fun and energetic toy too, so Masanuki felt the one-star reviews were far too harsh for this product. After all, having rechargeable batteries included should at least warrant an automatic minimum rating of two stars.

Photos ©SoraNews24
● Want to hear about SoraNews24’s latest articles as soon as they’re published? Follow us on Facebook and Twitter!
[ Read in Japanese ]