No, this is not a joke. This is an actual video–number 28, actually–in a whole series of videos made for the sole purpose of trying to find the best ‘method’ to increase a small-chested woman’s bust size.

In this particular excerpt, our unfaltering host Ryoko tries out one of her ideas for natural enlargement by massaging her chest…with summer vegetables?! All of you interested ladies (and men; we know that y’all secretly want to increase your chest size so you can wear one of these little gems), join us after the jump to learn more about this “Method to increase your breast size when harvesting summer vegetables”!

According to Ryoko, “Summer vegetables, which have grown under the influence of the summer sun, are thought to have very good properties for breast enhancement.” We haven’t got a clue who’s actually thought that before, but we’re willing to go along with it for the moment.

As bizarre as the concept sounds, perhaps the most disconcerting feature of the video is the dignified manner in which Ryoko massages herself set to a background of soothing music, never even cracking a smile the entire time:

▼Prim and proper-looking Ryoko


▼What’s this? An eggplant materializes in the frame!


▼What to do with the eggplant? Place it on your chest…


▼…and, um, gently massage it in circles on your bosom. Obviously.


▼Oh, look! Now a tomato’s appeared!


▼”I’m gonna strike a statuesque pose just because I can.”


▼”I’ll even look directly at the camera for my loyal viewers (but I won’t smile)!”


▼Now rub on both sides, taking care not to squeeze the tomato too hard.


▼Finally, take a bite out of the eggplant to finish the job. (There’s no subliminal message here, is there?)


The video ends with an extremely creepy, well-endowed image urging you to subscribe to Ryoko’s channel. FYI, it may not be safe for work.

In case you want to get a feel for some of Ryoko’s other videos, here’s a still from her Method 21 for increasing bust size. And for the record, yes, that is a vacuum cleaner:


Enjoy browsing her other techniques! Let us know if any of them work…

Source: Macaroni
Images: YouTube 1, 2