If there’s a wrong way to get drunk, we’ll find it!

If you’re just joining us on this journey, our star reporter Mr. Sato recently fancies himself as something of a Senbero Master, wherein “senbero” refers to a serving of food and alcohol for under 1,000 yen ($9.08) before tax and capable of providing a solid buzz.

These light meals are usually offered at drinking establishments like izakaya, but since restrictions have made that hard, Mr. Sato has been seeking out home alternatives to the senbero experience. He already tackled Lawson Store 100 and Don Quijote, so what cost-cutting retail chain would be next?

▼ Costco!

Actually, Mr. Sato had never really shopped at Costco and didn’t know what to expect there, so he asked his boss Yoshio about it.

▼ Yoshio: “What? You don’t know anything about Costco? You can’t make a senbero there. Don’t be stupid?”

As always, Mr. Sato interpreted “don’t be stupid” as a challenge and headed right over to the big-box giant.

After studying the alcoholic beverage section, Mr. Sato made his drink choice: a 720-milliliter (24-ounce) bottle of 2020 Carmenere Porta Reserve for 580 yen ($5.27). This was a little steeper than his past drinks, but it’s important to study all possible combinations of senbero to truly be a master of it.

Since the wine had antioxidants in it, our reporter decided that the theme of this senbero should be health. So with his remaining budget he sought out the most nutritious items that would also pair well with his port.

To Mr. Sato’s surprise, Costco had a decent selection of fresh foods at reasonable prices. First he picked up a whole head of cabbage for 74 yen ($0.67).

Then he chose a whole daikon for only 91 yen ($0.83). For those unfamiliar with this Japanese radish, it’s hard to get a sense of scale from this photo but one daikon is usually about 60 centimeters (24 inches) long, give or take.

Last but not least, what could be more nutritious than a whole bunch of bananas, weighing in at 1.3 kilos (2.9 pounds) and costing only 248 yen ($2.25)?

The grand total for this Costco senbero came to 1,084 yen ($9.84).

It was only four items this time, but if you consider all the vitamins, minerals, and alcohol, Mr. Sato was way ahead of the game pound for pound.

Before the senbero was to commence, Mr. Sato would first have to prepare the food.

He got a grater to convert his bitter vegetable into a flavorful garnish. 

One thing you might not know about Mr. Sato is that he loves grating.

Seriously, he hasn’t even drunk anything yet…

▼ Mr. Sato: “YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

Next it was time to shred the lettuce.

One other thing you might not know about Mr. Sato is that he isn’t such a fan when it comes to shredding lettuce.

He doesn’t hate it exactly. He can just take it or leave it.

With that part out of the way, he was all set to prepare his tray of food to accompany his wine.

Having the right amount of shredded cabbage was essential, so he carefully measured out his portion…

…bit by bit until it was perfect.

▼ “There!”

The final piece of the puzzle was a finely peeled banana.

Ah, c’est magnifique, Monsieur Sato!

And what better way to celebrate than with a nice glass of red wine.

That’s right, Mr. Sato. Take a big bite of that raw cabbage. You deserve it!

After chewing through the blades of cabbage like a grazing cow, Mr. Sato took another dainty sip of wine. Once again we remind you that Mr. Sato is a bit of a lightweight when it comes to drinking and was certainly already quite tipsy.

But the more he imbibed, the sweeter his raw grated daikon tasted.

Also, since the food was so healthy, Mr. Sato felt comfortable drinking more and more wine. It was a nutritious spiral.

▼ Mr. Sato: “Hahaha! The Costco senboro was superb! Lots of *hic* healthy vegetibbles and…yeah.”

▼ Mr. Sato: “Who…was the JACKASS that told me this wouldn’t work? Thasssssswaddaiwannano.”

As Yoshio stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Mr. Sato decided to get back to work while finishing the rest of his senbero.

▼ Mr. Sato: “This food is so good and healthy, I don’t even need to do nothing to it.”

▼ Mr. Sato: “Gah, it tastes like paper… But it’s good.”

▼ Mr. Sato: “Jus’ need to wet the whistle a little…”

Once again, we must remind readers that Mr. Sato is a trained Senbero Master, and that his professionally crafted drinking sessions are best done under proper conditions like you see here. Our supervisor Go Hatori was monitoring the situation closely.

And our health and safety expert Takashi Harada was also on guard.

▼ Takashi: “…”

Whether or not he’d get any closer to Mr. Sato was another matter entirely.

Photos © SoraNews24
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