Mr. Sato takes on Family Mart’s “All-You-Can-Eat Convenience Store Challenge!”

Imagine if you had ten minutes to run amuck in a convenience store and could eat whatever you wanted and as much of it as you could. Now imagine it’s a Japanese convenience store where the unwritten rule is: If you can’t find something you want to eat, you aren’t hungry.

Our well-seasoned convenience store correspondent Mr. Sato had just gotten such an experience recently in the FamilyMart booth at Niconico Super Party III, but discovered that an all-you-can-eat convenience store experience isn’t without its difficulties.

Getting in
The FamilyMart All-You-Can-Eat Convenience Store Challenge was held at Niconico Super Party III, a massive event celebrating the online video posting site which draws hundreds of thousands of in-person participants and millions more online. Among all those people, to be one of the few lucky enough to partake in the combini buffet was no easy task.

To get in Mr. Sato had to buy his 250 yen (US$2.44) ticket by registering after 10:00am on the day of the event and receive a receipt with a special code. Luckily, Mr. Sato was no stranger to such campaigns and got his code before they sold out in under an hour.

The Rules
While this is an all-you-can-eat convenience store extravaganza, this wasn’t a Thunderdome-style eating frenzy. It had some rules and was probably more like whatever society those kids Mad Max rescued built after escaping Tina Turner.

Family Mart All-You-Can-Eat Rules

Time Limit: 10 minutes
You can only take three products at one time (drinks and seasonings do not count as “one product”)
Messy eating will result in a yellow card by the referee
If you receive two yellow cards, your time is over immediately

Indeed judges were on-hand making sure that participants finished their items completely before getting more and made sure they weren’t being dirty little pigs. They were excessively muscular for the task too…

Mr. Sato wasn’t fazed by this, however. Even though he had eaten some of the most frightening junk food abominations around, he always did so with meticulous cleanliness.

Begin!
If you’d like to watch Mr. Sato’s All-You-Can-Eat Convenience Store Challenge then here it is! However, beware that it’s long and will probably make you really hungry.

In the end, he could throw down four pieces of FamilyMart Fried Chicken (Famichiki), one Jumbo Frank, one onigiri (riceball), one baked cheesecake, and one cream puff. You might think that wasn’t very much for 10 minutes of unadulterated snacking, and a disappointed Mr. Sato would have to agree with you.

Upon beginning the challenge our reporter’s mind was racing with strategy. A fan of nearly everything on the faithfully recreated shelves inside the Niconico venue he had to think of the best use of his ten minutes.

Eating a bento or cup noodles would have been too much of a time drainer. Bread held the risk of making his mouth dry and was also avoided. Basically anything requiring a spoon was out of the question too because of both the time consumption and risk of a messy yellow card.

In the end he focused on the famichiki because they were compact and easy to eat quickly. The only downside was they required the staff’s assistance to get and line-ups were a danger. His biggest regret was getting the onigiri. It was too filling and he thought he could have eaten two more famichiki instead.

Here are Mr. Sato’s parting words for those who are lucky enough to participate in such an event from now on:

“You should not eat the rice balls! Focus your attention on hot foods such as the famichiki and hotdogs! Hit the low-carb creamy snacks that you can fit in one hand like cream puffs, and you should be able to glide through this challenge smoothly! Just be careful not to make a mess or you’ll get carded out of the game. Don’t forget!!”

He then collapsed into one of his classic junk food induced comas requiring a blood transfusion and weeks of rehabilitation… Oh Mr. Sato, will you ever learn? Hahahaaa!

Haha…aheh… Seriously though, donate to your local blood bank. We’re running out of reporters.