KH 3

I didn’t watch a lot of TV during college, and before you think I’m saying that to try and come off as some high-minded intellectual, I’ll quickly admit that I filled that spare time playing video games and watching anime DVDs. One program I do remember catching, though, was a Fox special in which humans went against animals in a series of contests.

In one event, Takeru Kobayashi, Japan’s champion competitive eater, was pitted against a bear to see who could eat more hot dogs. The bear won with ease, because, well, it’s a bear for God’s sake.

Now, though, Kobayashi’s back for a rematch with the animal kingdom, but this time with a smaller opponent: an adorable hamster.

Once again, Kobayashi will be making his way through a pile of hot dogs. To make this a fair fight, though, the hamster gets two concessions. First, since the species isn’t carnivorous, instead of the meaty franks Kobayashi has on his plate, the hamster will be chowing down on hot dog-shaped pellets made of dried grape, date, and carrot. Second, since Kobayashi is several times bigger than his rodent opponent, the hamster’s food will be made to scale.

KH 4

▼ Is that woman lifting the hamster up for the camera, or holding him back so that he doesn’t go off and maul Kobayashi before the match begins?

KH 1

The two competitors take their places, each with a few cups of water to help wash down the food, as the referee gets into position to set off this battle between the man with world’s strongest stomach and the creature with the world’s cutest cheek pouches.

▼ I used to be surprised about how Kobayashi, despite his impressive appetite, just looked like a regular guy. Now, he looks like a regular guy with a blue-green fauxhawk.

KH 2

So who walks away with the victory? The answer comes at the end of the video.

In the end, it’s another heart-breaking loss for Kobayashi, whose record against four-legged rivals now stands at 0-2. There’s no shame in his most recent defeat, though, as he seems to have gone up against the most focused hamster in existence. He was so committed to devouring everything in sight that when his trainer was too slow slapping another hot dog on his plate, he went ahead and ate one of the cups.

▼ “Paper is digestible, right?”

KH 5

Really, we’ve got no idea how you’re supposed to beat an opponent who’s so dialed in, he keeps eating during the victory ceremony.

▼ We say it’s time to set up a title unification bout between this guy and the bear that beat Kobayashi before.

KH 6

Source, screenshots: YouTube
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