Mr. Sato’s final grab bag outfit at Forever 21 cost less than 5,000 yen.

Though many Japanese shoppers love Forever 21, love alone couldn’t cushion the wave of financial failures that have buffeted the company. With a recent 10 million dollar lawsuit from Ariana Grande sealing the company’s fate, the 14 stores across Japan have announced that they will close down by the end of October.

In anticipation of the closing, the stores are now selling stock at drastically reduced prices. And as soon as our resident culinary genius and dedicated iPhone enthusiast Mr. Sato heard the news, he was determined to rustle up a new look for himself on the super, super cheap.

With a Forever 21 outlet right nearby the SoraNews24 editorial offices in Shinjuku, he headed out to beat the thrift-seeking crowd.

▼ Shinjuku’s Forever 21, looking lovelorn. The sign declaring “From LA With Love”
had a new poignancy, with it soon retreating from Japan to LA.

▼ A sign announcing the store’s closing down sale.

▼ Products were often reduced by more than half their original price.

Trousers for 900 yen (US$8.30). Shirts for 400 yen. The three floors of Shinjuku’s Forever 21 were crammed with good deals, and Mr. Sato was eager to make the most of them. He roamed the aisles confidently, plucking out garments from a discounted rack here, holding up shirts from a bargain bin there.

Eventually he had a full new outfit, so he could dress in liquidated stock style from head to toe.

▼ You may notice there’s a common color theme here.

▼ Even the discount tickets were rosy pink.

Let’s break down these discounts:

  • The T-shirt was 1,290 yen and now cost 640 yen.
  • The button-down shirt was 1,990 yen and now merely 990 yen.
  • The trousers, once 2,490 yen were now just 900 yen, a reduction of 1,500 yen!
  • And the most drastic savings came with the 2,990 yen cardigan: priced at 700 yen, it cost 2,290 yen less than its original price.

Elated with his thrifty purchases he had reaped from the ruins of latter-day capitalism, Mr. Sato headed to the cashier. He thought he had found everything he could have ever dreamed of purchasing, but at the last possible moment…

Who could turn down a pair of slashed-price sunglasses? These stylish specs once retailed for 1,490 yen, but no longer. Now they were 740 yen.

Even more impossible to resist! Mr. Sato added them to his pile.

▼ Forever 21 describes the shades as “novelty”, showing their lack of taste and fashion acumen.

Now he’d secured a whole new look for less cash than a set of luxury toilet paper, Mr. Sato was itching to dress up.

Once he got home, he threw all his burgundy finery on at once and posed for some fashion shots.

Huh.

He had a curious feeling he’d seen this look before. But where?

Hang on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=8&v=_NbWPp9y1hU

The sunglasses, the swagger…

https://twitter.com/gohezoe/status/1175944777004548096

The cheesy, toothy smile.

In picking up discount clothes, Mr. Sato had inadvertently turned himself into Tamori — host of the Japanese comedy programs Waratte Iitomo and Tamori Club, and one of the three legends of Japanese comedy (the other two are Sanma Akashiya and Beat Takeshi.)

Still, what a harmonious look. And now he has an easy, bargain-priced costume for Hallowe’en. Thanks for all your help dressing Mr. Sato, Forever 21. Japan will miss you forever!

Images: ©SoraNews24
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