We’re callin’ it like we taste it and this one’s gonna be BIG–unlike its calorie count.  

Every now and then, a sunglass-wearing, dark-haired mystery man known as “Zeroryman”–a salaryman who loves drinking zero-calorie drinks–emerges from the depths of the SoraNews24 offices. OK, so it’s really just our Japanese-language correspondent Masanuki Sunakoma, but we’re letting him have his fun after the recent cursed cat incident.

Last month, Zeroryman got a brand-new drink to try when 7-Eleven Japan rolled out its new “7-Premium Zero Cider Triple” for 108 yen (US$0.88) as part of its 7-Premium brand. Note that in Japanese, “cider” usually refers to a non-alcoholic carbonated soft drink. Zero Cider Triple’s pink packaging is very evocative of its spring release time and the “triple” in its name is clearly explained on the front: it contains zero calories, zero sugar, and zero fat.

What it does contain, however, is one trillion lactic acid bacilli, those beneficial bacteria used in the fermentation of foods and a common probiotic. Zeroryman humbly thanks whoever had to count them all for his bottle.

Sure enough, the nutrition facts label on the back confirmed the triple crown of zero-zero-zero.

No matter how good he would feel about drinking the Zero Cider Triple, it wouldn’t be worth it if he didn’t enjoy drinking it. He poured some into a glass and first admired the fizzy bubbles rising to the top.

Once it had settled a bit, the color was a thin milky white. It also gave off a smell reminiscent of another Japanese lactic acid beverage called Calpis Soda.

▼ (Note the cursed cat)

Now was the moment of truth. Zeroryman stepped outside to take a big gulp (while also taking a dramatic photo)…

…and kept gulping (and documenting)…

…because it was so refreshing (and because the sunlight made him look really cool)!

It had a hint of the sweetness found in Calpis Soda as well as a hint of sourness from the bacteria. He also enjoyed the sensation of the gentle carbonation on his tongue. There was no doubt about it–he was ready to declare that the Zero Cider Triple would become the most popular drink of 2022.

And the best part of it all, as he kept reminding himself, was that it had zero calories.

We have no idea when Zeroryman will make his next appearance, but we’ll welcome his return at any point. Until then, you can find us sneaking a few indulgent springtime drinks alongside our other new friend Lottsa-Caloryman.

Reference: 7-Eleven
All images © SoraNews24
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