Can You Enlarge Your Breasts With Plungers? We Investigate

Despite many a man’s preference for small to average size bust lines, society as whole seems to put a lot of emphasis on large breasts. For this reason, women head to the plastic surgeon in droves for augmentation surgery.

However, wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way for those women to get the self-confidence they need without all those expensive and invasive procedures?

RocketNews24 assembled a team to find a way to enlarge breast using affordable everyday items. Naturally our guinea pig was the staff member with the nicest rack, Mr. Sato.

During our many brainstorming sessions it was determined that breasts are soft and highly malleable, so wouldn’t it stand to reason that with enough force they could be stretched into a more desirable shape for the owner?

A plunger was the obvious choice to provide the force. The editorial department had been well stocked with plungers since the aftermath of Mr. Sato’s 1050 piece bacon cheeseburger challenge.

■ Plungers are Freaking Strong!

Taking two plungers they had lying around the team applied one to each of Mr. Sato’s already ample moobs. Surprisingly they stuck firmly enough that they could support their own weight. These definitely had the goods to boost his bust.

As they continuously plunged at his teats there was a growing optimism that this would work out as they expected.

Then, it was time to remove them.

Everyone took turns trying to pry off the plungers with all their might but they were firmly locked onto Mr. Sato’s fun bags. What was worse; with every attempt he would wail a high-pitched “Owwwwww” that sounded like a cat in heat.

Still, in-between screams he would say with an exhausted smile “This’ll definitely make me bigger!”

■ Results

With no one able to remove the plunger, Mr. Sato was getting worried that he may never caress the twins again. Summoning all his might like a mother might to save her child, he gave a mighty tug on the plumbing devices freeing them from his chest.

Panting, he said, “They seem bigger to me.” Everyone gathered around. Yes, they did seem a little bigger. Unfortunately they were also bright red and had white circles around them.

In the end, we learned that it is possible to enlarge your breast with plungers, but it hurts, makes them hot pink, and the effects will probably go away after just a few minutes.

By the way, did you know that in Japan a plunger is formally called a “rubber cup” but is more popularly referred to by an onomatopoeic name based on the sound it makes, the most popular being “zuppon”? See, reading this didn’t make you stupider!