How exactly does one discover that they have this talent?
It is said that true genius often goes unrecognized during its lifetime.
So let’s put an end to that right now, by recognizing the genius that is Japanese comedian (?) slash magician (???) UessP, who goes by @uespiiiiii on Twitter (which is also how you pronounce his name, all six i’s being absolutely necessary).
Shhh, no more talk. Only watch.
▼ “Using a measuring tape to perform a dangerous tablecloth pull.”
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/939437846741491713Oh. Oh yes. Rarely do we get to gaze upon perfection, but here ladies and gentlemen is true peak humanity.
His confident stare, the silent prayer before the tape retracts, the flawless execution, and of course the beautiful soundtrack that rises and falls along with the bated breath and pounding hearts of the audience. “Will we catch an unwanted glimpse of his junk?” we wonder to ourselves. The build up of tension and the sweet release when it stays hidden delivers a high like no other.
And if you think this was the only time UessP had performed this magic trick, oh no. The master has performed the trick many, many times, in dozens of different ways. Here’s a small sampling:
▼ He’s performed it using a fan…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/886173407938699264▼ …a motorcycle helmet…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/936897993386573826▼ …a rice cooker…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/934366326667206656▼ …a shredder…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/921678613329494016▼ …by enlisting the help of an animated doodle…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/918404528839393280▼ …and of course, using a PlayStation 2.
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/926751773213077507▼ For added danger,
he’s also done the trick with a cup filled with hot tea.
▼ And for any of the naysayers claiming it’s faked (how dare you!),
he performs it live on Georgia’s Got Talent.
▼ Of course, crotch-cloth-pulling isn’t UessP’s only talent.
Here you can see him take a spectacular handstand-selfie.
If you want to keep up with self-proclaimed “naked performer” UessP’s latest and greatest magic tricks, then be sure to give the man a follow on Twitter. You don’t have to know any Japanese to understand the genius he’s trying to convey — you can feel it in your soul.
Is UessP more impressive than fellow Japanese magician TanBa swallowing balloons and razor blades? We’ll leave that for future generations of scholars to decide. For now, we’ll just anxiously await the next video, to see how UessP yet again cleverly conceals his crotch from our eyes.
Source: Twitter/@uespiiiiii
Featured image: Twitter/@uespiiiiii

Japanese comedian gets standing ovation for crotch-covering antics in France【Video】
Unique RSVP causes Twitter to explode with hilarious ways to say “no”
Owner pulls a “too slow” trick on loving canine【Video】
Japanese man astounds Internet by levitating paper cup and cigarette in mid-air【Video】
Japanese mom keeps cool, lays down hot, hilarious drum beat to scare off cockroach invader【Video】
Studio Ghibli has a new anime out, and there’s only one place in the world where you can see it
Family Mart opens new “Famima” flagship store in Tokyo that’s like a tourist attraction
Uniqlo looks back to the very start of Pokémon with new black-and-white pixel art T-shirts[Pics]
Japan reacts to Donald Trump’s “Islamic Republic of Japan” remark
Japanese airport rebrands itself as “Sushi Airport” to attract foreign tourists
Solid gold Hedorah kaiju from the Godzilla series is now available to pre-order
Three new starter Pokémon Jets to fly in Japan, first begins carrying passengers this month
Studio Ghibli theme park’s new dessert is a drinkable version of Hayao Miyazaki’s pilot daydream
McDonald’s Japan reveals new Pokémon collaboration range, covering McNuggets and lucky bags
Giant Mewtwo statue disappears from real-life Pokémon Center in Japan, may be headed to America
Salomon releases Japan-exclusive Mt. Fuji hiking gear that doubles as an amazing souvenir
Japan triples departure tax, foreign tourists and locals now must pay more to leave country
A visit to Sri Lanka’s knockoff knockoff Uniqlo (no, we didn’t stutter) to see its rare “Pikachus”
New Mt. Fuji overnight bus takes travelers from downtown Tokyo straight to the most popular hiking trail
Don’t judge this Kiki’s Delivery Service book by its cover, because it’s not actually a book!
7-Eleven Japan releases chocolate cookies that taste like freshly baked melon bread
7-Eleven Japan now has Vietnamese banh mi sandwiches, but how do they taste?[Taste test]
Japan announces sudden 400-percent increase in visa fees for foreigners entering the country
Japanese ninja certification exam attracts 131 candidates from Japan and abroad
Studio Ghibli store Donguri Republic announces opening of first-ever store in America
New Japanese overnight train coming to connect Tokyo with Tohoku in sleep-travel style
Japan launches first overnight Shinkansen bullet train between Tokyo and Osaka this summer
Japanese sweets shop sells an ohagi so exquisite it sells out by noon
Forget Tokyo go-karts – there’s a new way to sightsee on four wheels in Japan
Japan’s human washing machines will go on sale to general public, demos to be held in Tokyo
Starbucks Japan releases new drinkware and goods for Valentine’s Day
Starbucks Japan releases new sakura goods and drinkware for cherry blossom season 2026
Japan’s newest Shinkansen has no seats…or passengers [Video]
Put sesame oil in your coffee? Japanese maker says it’s the best way to start your day【Taste test】
Japan reportedly adding Japanese language skill requirement to most common foreigner work visa
Japanese Twitterers ask “who dunnit?” in hilarious collection of random photos
Walking Dead star Norman Reedus sends Christmas greetings via Japanese comedy stripper Mr Uekusa
Japanese mascot malfunction gives hilarious look at what it’s really like inside a costume【Video】
Japanese Twitter can’t figure out how to wear these shoes, comes up with hilarious ideas
Japanese Twitter taken over by butt-rubbing bears who love to “slap the bass” 【Video】
This month’s slightly bizarre Japanese Twitter trend is showing off overly full Subway sandwiches
Twitter quacks with laughter at this hilariously angry duck berating a golden retriever【Video】
This whacky Japanese cat looks hilariously buff, adorably fluff【Video】
Japanese Twitter artist gives hilarious suggestion for when you can’t draw a character’s body
Japanese Twitter’s definitive collection of “Wait, that’s not a cat!” moments【Photos】
Got Talent tourist Mr. Uekusa heads to Spain, narrowly avoids first-round disaster
Japanese Twitter users respond: “What do you do when a friend criticizes anime you like?”
Japanese Twitter shows off list of seven hilarious differences between being 18 versus being 81
Japanese kids set hilarious and ingenious traps to capture Santa Claus【Pics, Videos】
Japanese companies poke fun at their own products in hilariously self-deprecating advertisements