How exactly does one discover that they have this talent?

It is said that true genius often goes unrecognized during its lifetime.

So let’s put an end to that right now, by recognizing the genius that is Japanese comedian (?) slash magician (???) UessP, who goes by @uespiiiiii on Twitter (which is also how you pronounce his name, all six i’s being absolutely necessary).

Shhh, no more talk. Only watch. 

“Using a measuring tape to perform a dangerous tablecloth pull.”

Oh. Oh yes. Rarely do we get to gaze upon perfection, but here ladies and gentlemen is true peak humanity.

His confident stare, the silent prayer before the tape retracts, the flawless execution, and of course the beautiful soundtrack that rises and falls along with the bated breath and pounding hearts of the audience. “Will we catch an unwanted glimpse of his junk?” we wonder to ourselves. The build up of tension and the sweet release when it stays hidden delivers a high like no other.

And if you think this was the only time UessP had performed this magic trick, oh no. The master has performed the trick many, many times, in dozens of different ways. Here’s a small sampling:

▼ He’s performed it using a fan…

▼ …a motorcycle helmet…

▼ …a rice cooker…

▼ …a shredder…

▼ …by enlisting the help of an animated doodle…

▼ …and of course, using a PlayStation 2.

▼ For added danger,
he’s also done the trick with a cup filled with hot tea.

▼ And for any of the naysayers claiming it’s faked (how dare you!),
he performs it live on Georgia’s Got Talent.

▼ Of course, crotch-cloth-pulling isn’t UessP’s only talent.
Here you can see him take a spectacular handstand-selfie.

If you want to keep up with self-proclaimed “naked performer” UessP’s latest and greatest magic tricks, then be sure to give the man a follow on Twitter. You don’t have to know any Japanese to understand the genius he’s trying to convey — you can feel it in your soul.

Is UessP more impressive than fellow Japanese magician TanBa swallowing balloons and razor blades? We’ll leave that for future generations of scholars to decide. For now, we’ll just anxiously await the next video, to see how UessP yet again cleverly conceals his crotch from our eyes.

Source: Twitter/@uespiiiiii
Featured image: Twitter/@uespiiiiii