Even if you defend the concept of such a thing, you’ll find that this isn’t even a good plastic bottle bottom cap.

Our reporter Go Hatori often scours the shelves of discount store chain Daiso for interesting products like pasta-specific forks or cheaper alternatives to existing things like wigs. He does this so much you might think he’s shilling for the company, but he actually does come across pieces of crap for sale too.

This is one such time.

Behold the Plastic Bottle Bottom Cap. We all know and love regular plastic bottle caps for the way they keep our drinks carbonated and/or portable. Well, this is just like that, but it goes on the bottom of the bottle rather than the top!

You might be wondering why we need to put a cap on the bottom of a bottle, so consider this everyday occurrence: You sit down at your desk with a nice bottle of kombucha when a poltergeist suddenly slides it right across the surface of your desk and smacks your co-worker upside the head. It’s an embarrassment for which there has sadly been no remedy… until now!

But even if you’re not tormented by the undead, there appear to be other benefits too. According to the package, Plastic Bottle Bottom Cap “prevents bottles from sliding” and also “keeps desk surfaces clean.” At first this might seem like a good idea , collecting the condensation from frosty drinks on hot days, but it can’t even do that right with that big hole in the bottom.

Just to be sure, Go decided to put it to the test and see what unexpected benefits the Plastic Bottle Bottom Cap might yield. He took out his trusty bottle of tea that he brings from home and prepared to cap it.

Usage is quite simple. Just line up the cap with the bottle’s bottom and… BA-BAHN!

Oh… it didn’t fit. Go had always thought his bottle was average size, but he had clearly been selling his tea consumption short.

According to the package, Plastic Bottle Bottom Cap can accommodate bottle diameters of 6.5 centimeters (2.56 inches) to 7 centimeters (2.76 inches). Go never realized there was such diversity in plastic bottle widths, but apparently there is.

So he went down to Family Mart and bought two more bottles of tea, trying to get different sizes.

Go’s papa bottle was too big, so it was time to try the mama bottle of hojicha… but it was too small.

The baby bottle of black tea with milk, however, was just right!

Finally, Go could test the effectiveness of the Plastic Bottle Bottom Cap. After placing it on firmly, he put his doubly capped drink on his desk…

Sure enough, it didn’t slide around thanks to the friction of the rubber material, and thus a problem that never existed in the first place has been solved.

And that’s underwhelmingly it.

However, Go being the eternal optimist he is, continued to try to find some other use for this small rubber ring. Refusing to think something so bad could have been bought at Daiso, he first tried peeking through it to see if it had any optical benefits or use in a Mr. Peanut costume.

Then he pushed it against his mouth and went “muni muni” but to no avail. This thing truly was useless.

So if you happen to enjoy a drink in an especially specific-sized bottle and are plagued by it sliding all over the place on your table, then the Plastic Bottle Bottom Cap is perfect for you.

However, Go is like the other 99.9999 percent of humanity, and while his bottle of black tea with milk isn’t slipping, his faith in Daiso is a bit.

Images: SoraNews24

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