It’s more of a pointup than a lineup though.
On 16 September, our veteran reporter Mr. Sato was strolling through Tokyo’s Omotesando neighborhood. It was a rather wet and miserable day, as many this autumn seem to be, but at least things were cooling down from the intense summer.
He looked around at all the shops, some new, some old, but one that has really stood the test of time was the SoftBank Omotesando shop. That place was special to Mr. Sato as it was the first place he ever lined up to be one of the first to purchase the iPhone 4 back in 2010. “Has it really been 16 years?” he thought to himself.
Our writer was thinking about how a person born that year would be in high school by now, when he suddenly spotted something peculiar in front of the SoftBank… It was an orange mohawk.
Orange mohawks are a rare sight in Japan, so Mr. Sato was fairly certain it was none other than Butch a.k.a. Big Wave.
Mr. Sato: “Butch! What are you doing standing out in the rain?!”
Butch: “Oh, s’up bruh!!!”
Mr. Sato: “Aren’t you cold? What are you doing out here?”
Butch: “Pffft, like you don’t know… It’s the event of the century, bruh! The iPhone! The new iPhone is coming out! And when a new iPhone launches, that’s my cue, baby!”
Mr. Sato: “Oh, is that this week? So, it’s already time for that crazy expensive phone to come out.”
Butch: “That’s right! Don’t tell me you forgot, bruh. What happened to the guy who used to line up with me back in the day?”
Mr. Sato: “Yeah, I totally forgot. I’m actually using an Android now, so I haven’t been keeping track of the release dates.”
Butch: “Dang, I guess changing to Android makes you a really dull guy too.”
Mr. Sato: “I just lost interest. I don’t think it’s the phone’s fault.”
Butch: “If you say so, bruh.”
Not wanting to stand out in the rain any longer, Mr. Sato wished Butch well and went on his way.
As he walked, Mr. Sato looked back on those days. For a brief moment in history, iPhone launches were major cultural events, and Mr. Sato was right in the middle of it all. For two years in a row, he first person in Japan to purchase a new iPhone model after its launch, rubbing shoulders with celebrities like Ken Watanabe at the celebratory ceremony.
▼ Mr. Sato was celebrated as the first iPhone5S owner in Japan in 2013.
And it was on the iPhone line circuit that he met Butch, whose eye-catching appearance and effervescent attitude made him a constant presence on TV news coverage of iPhone releases.
▼ News report of the iPhone3G release in 2008. Butch can be seen a little under a minute into it.
He even managed to parlay that into acting and modeling work, appearing as the mascot for Taco Bell Japan at one point.
However, as the years passed, the excitement of yet another iPhone that wasn’t hugely different from the year before dwindled. At the same time, Mr. Sato grew older. Now in his 50s, he doubted he had the stamina to spend three days and nights on a sidewalk.
Butch is younger by about 10 years, but is just getting to that age where aches and pains become more frequent, and the invincibility of youth begins to falter. And yet, he still tirelessly shows up every year to camp out on the sidewalk and wait for the new iPhone, even after the rest of the world has moved on.
▼Butch in 2024
Mr. Sato began to feel bad for his friend and decided that the next day he would hold an intervention for him on the sidewalk in front of the SoftBank Omotesando.
On 17 September, Mr. Sato returned to the lineup for the iPhone18, which consisted solely of Butch. As he approached, he thought that perhaps if he could show his pal how far Android has come along in terms of performance and affordability, perhaps he could finally pack up his lawn chair and pursue a new hobby.
Mr. Sato: “Butch, it’s been raining non-stop. Are you alright?!”
Butch: “Bruh, do I look alright to you? I’m cold and wet, and my lower back is killing me, dog.”
Mr. Sato: “Butch, it’s over. The iPhone dream is dead, man. It’s time to wake up and see that!”
Butch: “But, bruh… It’s just… I…”
Mr. Sato: “Enough. Android is pretty good too, you know. If you still think it’s that sluggish phone of a decade ago, you’re wrong, man. The world has changed. The iPhone isn’t the only game in town anymore.”
Butch: “But the release date is coming up…”
Mr. Sato: “You damn fool! Even the cheapest iPhone is 219,800 yen (US$1,400) and the 2TB iPhone 18 Pro is freaking 449,800 yen ($2,900)! Forgetting about specs, you can get a brand new Android for just 22,000 yen ($141)! Don’t you see?!”
Butch: “That’s not it, bruh. I mean… I…”
Mr. Sato: “Listen to me, Butch. You’ve done enough. You led the charge on iPhone releases, made “you gotta ride this Big Wave” a popular catchphrase, and inspired the nation with your ASCII art.”
“But look around you. There are fewer and fewer young people who even know what ASCII art is, let alone an iPhone lineup. The iPhone 3G came out 18 years ago, man. Isn’t it time to hang up your mohawk? Android is really pretty decent now.”
Butch: “Bruh, you totally got it twisted…”
Butch: “It’s just that I…”
Butch: “I LOVE THE LINE!”
Butch: “I don’t care about the iPhone… I care about lining up!”
Butch’s admission gave Mr. Sato pause. Indeed, Big Wave had eluded to being more a fan of lining up for iPhones than the iPhones themselves in past years. Our reporter realized he took the completely wrong approach in trying to make Butch see the light.
Mr. Sato: “Of course… You were never lining up to buy an iPhone. You always lined up just to be in the line.”
Defeated, Mr. Sato once again wished Butch well and went on his way back to his dry and heated home. He wondered how long Butch would continue to be a lineup of one in front of the SoftBank Omotesando now that the rest of the world has moved on.
Perhaps he could find his friend something more popular to line up for these days, something with other people so that Butch could find that joy and excitement of waiting again, and something that didn’t cost as much as a used car.
Photos ©SoraNews24
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