Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 154)

Monster Hunter Rathalos cake available for pre-order, comes with Epitaph Knife and 49 res points

So you’ve slain the mighty King of the Sky Rathalos in one or all of the Monster Hunter series of games, and you probably felt pretty satisfied the first time you did it. But something was missing, wasn’t it? Being simply a mere video game you couldn’t feast on the dragon’s meat like a true hunter should.

Now website Premium Bandai and cake maker Chara Shoku Net are offering monster hunters a chance to live that dream with the King of the Sky Rathalos Cake which comes with a knife in the likeness of the Epitaph Blade.

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Man photographed robbing ramen shop at knife point

Kurumaya Ramen is a peace-loving chain restaurant in Eastern Japan where you can enjoy a nice Kimchi Miso Ramen and the staff appear to be dressed like Super Mario. However, on 27 August it was the scene of an armed robbery.

Luckily in this day and age everyone is carrying a phone. As this potentially violent robber had his back to group of customers one of them pulled out their phone and did the first thing that came to mind in such an emergency.

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“Get down!” Man leaps onto train tracks to save fallen woman

On Sunday 25 August, a 58-year-old woman walking along the platform of Kanyama Station in Nagoya slipped and fell onto the tracks. The time was 3:50 p.m. and the six-car express train running from Toyohashi to Gifu was due to arrive at any moment.

Seeing this, another passenger waiting for his train also jumped onto the tracks to save the woman. However, possibly injured from her fall, the she was unable to move.  Watching the 3:50 train pull into the station and with no options left the man urgently called out to the woman to “get down!”

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Thirty-Six [ ________ ] of Mt. Fuji Project has a view of conserving the iconic mountain

Thirty-Six Views of Mt. Fuji is a series of 36 masterpieces by Katsushika Hokusai in the medium of ukiyoe woodblock printing. Even if the name doesn’t ring a bell, you certainly must have caught a glimpse of the iconic The Great Wave off Kanagawa (above) once or twice somewhere, or maybe you saw a Japanese passport encased in South Wind, Clear Sky.

A new non-profit organization with the aim of conserving the newly appointed World Heritage Site is using these famous pieces of art as the theme for a new fundraising campaign. However, instead of limiting themselves to woodblock prints, Thirty-Six [ _____ ] of Mt. Fuji Project is taking out the “Views” and opening it up to any form of artistic expression such as “Thirty-Six Songs of Mt. Fuji” or “Thirty-Six Sweets of Mt. Fuji”.

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Man arrested for stealing 200 bicycle seats for their “scent of a woman”

It’s been nearly three days since we last reported on the arrest of a sexual deviant inventing a new way to get himself arrested by throwing pee at young women. So we’re clearly long overdue for another guy pushing the envelope of creepy crime.

On 24 August, Kanagawa Prefectural Police picked up Joji Kondo for stealing three seats from women’s electric bicycles in a housing complex at around 4:00 in the morning. After searching Kondo’s home they uncovered a further 200 seats.

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Colossal hovercraft crashes pleasant day at the beach in Russia

Who doesn’t love a nice Sunday at the beach? It’s that one day of the week when we can all kick back and soak up some rays while listening to the relaxing sound of waves lapping against the shore.

At least some of us can while many other people still have to work on Sundays, including those in the Russian Navy who were doing a training exercise. However, it would appear this time they decided to make a detour and sneak their enormous hovercraft onto a locally popular beach on the Baltic Sea for some fun in the sun of their own.

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Exploding toilet in China leads to explosion of puns on the net

On the evening of 4 August, the Liu family returned home at around 9:00pm to the smell of something burning. Thinking the house might be on fire they began to inspect from room to room but found nothing aside from some water dripping from the ceiling.

“I wonder if someone put it out” someone said as they made their way to the second floor still seeing no sign of a fire aside from the stench. Then upon opening the door to the bathroom, they saw the devastation.

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It’s a burger! It’s a pizza! It’s Megaburgerpizza!

Ever have trouble deciding whether you want to have a burger or pizza? Kyoto pizza parlor Pizza Little Party is hoping you choose to have both with their Megaburgerpizza. They’re also apparently tired of being called “little” as this beast weighs in at approximately 1.2kg (2.65lbs).

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Four teenagers mug man to buy special attack uniforms for meeting AKB48

On 22 August, four youths between the ages of 15 and 17 were apprehended for robbing and injuring a man in the streets of Tokyo. While in custody one of the teenagers confessed they had taken the man’s money because they “wanted to get some special attack uniforms [tokkoufuku] and go to an AKB48 handshake meet.”

Well, that certainly clears up everything!

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Ichiro’s 4,000th hit ball and Munenori Kawasaki remind us what baseball’s all about

Like many a baseball player in Japan, Munenori Kawasaki looks up to Japanese baseball legend Ichiro Suzuki. But Kawsasaki has been especially well known for his unflinching support of the future Hall of Famer. Even during his younger days of playing the sport in Kagoshima his style was compared to that of Ichiro.

Years later, on 21 August it would seem the stars aligned just right for Kawasaki as he found himself on the field just as Ichiro made his 4,000th professional hit in a game against the Toronto Blue Jays. But Kawasaki’s pure enthusiasm that night might have even eclipsed his hero’s milestone.

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Battle ensues for Korea’s queen of the ceremonial first pitch

Only a little over a month ago we were in awe of South Korean gymnast Shin Soo-ji and her 360° wind up pitch as it made waves over the internet. And yet already, a new challenger has stepped into the arena of making first pitches look like a Tekken move.

Actress Tae-Mi was scheduled to make a first pitch during a game between the SK Wyverns and Doosan Bears. Taking to the mound she appeared to limber up for your typical overhand pitch when she suddenly flipped out – literally.

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Nara resident trying to build house stumbles upon forgotten ruins on five separate occasions

In 2010, Nara City in Nara Prefecture celebrated the 1,300th anniversary since becoming the imperial capital of Japan. During its relatively brief time as capital, the city flourished in culture so that even today the area is filled with ruins and relics of it rich distant past.

To have such a city overflowing with cultural heritage representing a romantic period in the history of Japan is both awesome and, well, a royal pain in the butt for anyone who wants to develop land there.

Just ask one poor guy, who tried to build a home to start his life in only to be shot down five times in a row after ruins were found on his land. Distraught and with nowhere else to turn he posted his woes on internet advice site MyNavi News Q & A for help. Here is his translated post.

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Police pick up man “addicted” to throwing cups of urine at women

We all have our vices. Some like a drink or a smoke while others fancy a wager on the ponies every now and again. No matter who you are there’s something you rely on to help get you through the day.

As bad as those previously mentioned habits might be, at least they don’t involve assault charges. The same can’t be said for one middle-aged man arrested for allegedly indulging in his irresistible pastime of throwing cups of urine at women from his car. If they don’t have a rehab for that one yet, they really should get on it.

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China gives big boost to Pacific Rim in box office, amuses many with weird subtitles such as “Pegasus Meteor Fist”

While the Guillermo del Toro ode to tokusatsu (Godzilla, Ultraman, etc.) films had a reasonable opening in its home country, the box office take was rather low to cover its $190 million dollar budget. However, thanks to an astounding foreign release Pacific Rim can be considered a big success – the highest grossing foreign film of the year so far to be exact.

A large part of that success can be attributed to the might of the massive Chinese film going population. As of 18 August, the Chinese revenue was reported to be 618 million yuan (US$100M) surpassing even what Pacific Rim pulled in its home country. But there’s another reason why people are paying attention to the film’s Chinese release.

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Chinese city poised to fine guys who miss the bowl

Recently Shenzhen, Guangdong announced a new bylaw against “non-civilized” behavior in public toilets of the city. This means that guys for whom the act of urination turns into a Sunday afternoon with a wacky water weasel may face fines if caught.

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What do you do when your mother-in-law secretly kisses your husband while you sleep?

It would appear that China is experiencing an unforeseen side-effect of a one child-policy: overbearing parents. Thankfully, this isn’t quite at the embarrassing level of Japan’s monster parents making demands of all unfortunate souls who come in contact with their children.

No, in China it seems it’s just the wives who are bearing the brunt of their in-laws suffocating ways. It’s believed that the number of divorces filed due to irreconcilable differences between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are on the rise, but this book, which is packed with real-life wife-versus-mother-in-law accounts, might help.

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We try to hammer a nail into a board using a popular Japanese summer treat

A few days ago we reported on a series of whimsical Twitter warnings issued by Imuraya, makers of the Adzuki Bar. The tweets all advise consumers of the famous frozen sweet bean snacks that “Adzuki Bars are seriously hard, so watch your teeth!”

But how hard are they really? Hard enough to, say, drive a nail through a piece of wood? Our reporter Usagi-chan decided to find out.

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New Pokemon anime taking it back to ’96, Coming this October!

Were you one of the millions playing the battery life out of Pokémon Red, Green, or Blue back in the late ’90s? If so, your days fishing for magicarp have probably taken a backseat to a 9-5 job and changing diapers. Perhaps you feel a little disconnected after the several iterations that followed the original games over nearly two decades and feel that the poké balls have been passed to younger generations?

If any of this applies to you, the people behind Pokémon want to say they understand and have prepared a special treat in store. Coming 2 October to TV Tokyo a new anime series will begin titled Pokémon the Origin and follows the storyline of the original set of games.

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New online game has players fulfilling the needs of endless waves of schoolgirls, it’s freaking hard and could you help you study Japanese

Growing up as a young girl isn’t easy, the problems both big and small, mental and physical seem endless. This coming-of-age dilemma is the basis of a new online game put out by girls’ manga magazine, Ribbon. Although, instead of a schoolgirl you take the role of a school nurse’s assistant charged with helping an onslaught of children unhappy with their smells and suffering nosebleeds in School Nurse’s Office.

Don’t let the cutesy artwork of the game fool you, this is deceptively challenging! At least zombies only want one thing.

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Yasukuni Shrine for Dummies, feat. Ian Ziering, Hitler’s corpse, and Anpanman

Ah Shinto, you’re the stoner roommate of world religions. People pride you on your laid-back “everything is god” and “it’s okay to have other religions” policies. Often times they wish they could be just like you. However, when you forget to pay the internet bill for the fourth time that way of thinking gets old real quick.

In Shinto’s case, that ISP’s final warning came in the form of Yasukuni Shrine, a shrine which serves to hold the souls of those who died in the Japanese armed forces. When it came time to include some convicted war criminals among those souls, Shinto coughed and said, “Sure man, they probably did something good along the way.”

And so, Yasukuni Shrine has become a political lightning rod inspiring right-wing nationalists in Japan and spurning the nation’s neighbors. Thankfully, this Obon season, when Japanese people habitually visit shrines to honor those who have gone before us, bread-headed children’s superhero, Anpanman, flew into Yasukuni and lent some sanity to an otherwise volatile situation.

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