Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 153)

Fan-made intro to 8-bit Pacific Rim game leaves us itching to press start

The movie Pacific Rim has been getting a lot of love around the actual Asian Pacific Rim recently, with China especially talking about it, though perhaps not for the best reasons. Japan too, being a lover of giant monster movies, has taken to Guillermo del Toro’s work, with praise from game makers Fumito Ueda (Ico, Shadow of the Colossus) and Hideo Kojima (Metal Gear, Zone of Enders) and manga artists Go Nagai (Marzinger Z) and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto (Neon Genesis Evangelion).

Also, in honor of the film a video was posted to YouTube titled “Pacific Rim Main Theme 8bit Arrange” which along with NES-tech rendition of the movie’s main theme gives us a nostalgic intro scene to what could have been a great video game adaptation of Pacific Rim. There are even some cute sprite versions of the Jaegers!

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Astronomer’s Kansai earthquake warning called off: “No possibility of earthquake before the end of September”

Well, it looks as if the people of Kansai may have been jerked around yet again. One month after the Japan Meteorological Agency sent out a blanket alarm of an imminent earthquake in Nara, astronomer Yoshio Kushida made the grim prediction of a large-scale quake as early as 6 September.

Now, in the wake of intense media attention, Kushida’s PHP Institute has made a follow-up report stating that until the end of September “there is no possibility of an earthquake.”

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ATM mysteriously withdraws itself and explodes in China

China is increasingly becoming a real-life Maximum Overdrive with machines and items such as mobile phones, toilets, bus windows, buses, cans of cola, and cigarettes have all lashed out at their fleshy masters.

And now, at around 2:00 a.m. in Fujian Province, the automated teller machine of a credit union exploded blowing out nearby windows but injuring none. It would appear the joke was on this machine as it didn’t know most people sleep at that time of day.

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Astronomer warns of major earthquake in Kansai as early as next week

After last month’s false alarm of a large earthquake over our mobile phones, Nara and surrounding area residents’ blood pressures are finally getting back to normal. Well, don’t put away those paper bags yet. Now there’s another reason to worry. Research out of Yatsugadake Nanroku Observatory is suggests that we can expect a major earthquake of at least magnitude 7 to hit somewhere in the Kansai area from next week.

Earthquake-prone Japan is no stranger to proclamations of doom so it’s hard to get too worked up. However, the head of the observatory, Yoshio Kushida has made this prediction with a truly unique method that if correct could revolutionize earthquake prediction. Rather than looking down at the ground, Kushida suspects we can detect earthquakes better by watching the skies.

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Allegedly abusive passenger judo-thrown by female station worker

It’s an old stereotype that all East Asians know martial arts and one that’s far from the truth. However, you never know when someone you least expect is going to pop out some taekwondo, karate, judo, or, in the words of James Brown, ka-razy.

Hiroshi Ebina learned that the hard way when a 21-year-old female station attendant he got mixed up with took him down in one move having good old-fashioned judo under her presumably black belt.

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Eight-year-old girl astounds world with guitar technique

Guthrie Govan stands among the best guitar players in the world. He is able to play in a variety of styles gracefully like few others can. His song “Fives” in particular showcases how well he can use the entire fret board effortlessly to make a deeply complex, sophisticated yet catchy guitar jam.

With that, here’s eight-year-old Risa-X to perform this extremely intricate piece written by the 1993 Guitarist of the Year on her guitar!

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Japanese netizens share favorite quotes on marriage, not a single positive one in the bunch

“Marriage, in contrast to the flu, starts with a fever and ends with the chills.”
(Georg Christoph Lichtenberg)

This quote by the German scientist/writer was the opening salvo to an online sharing session of people’s favorite marriage-related quotes. However, this was far from a lovefest. In fact, every single quote was anti-marriage or at the very least cautionary with regards to tying the knot.

If you’re wondering why more and more young Japanese people are turned off by the institution of marriage, these favored quotes may shed some light, or perhaps darkness, on the situation.

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Man arrested for trying to take a video up girls’ skirts, recorded self as well

Kanagawa Prefectural Police had an easy day of work this Thursday when they arrested 31-year-old Hirotaka Kikuchi on charges of voyeurism (deemed ‘harassment’ by Kanagawa Prefecture). Although it took some time, the suspect was quite easy to find after he accidentally videoed himself while setting up his so-called hidden cameras.

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Bird poop disables 25,000 traffic signals in Nagano

On 28 August police and motorists in Shiojiri and Matsumoto cities in Nagano Prefecture had to deal with nearly a half an hour of dead traffic lights. The cause of this menace was none other than mankind’s greatest airborne threat – bird droppings.

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“Do you know Gangnam Style?” Controversy ensues online over the promotion of South Korean culture

It was amazing how Gangnam Style and PSY’s brand of comedic dance music spread through our hearts making him a household name globally. Well, maybe not Japan for some reason, but everyone else couldn’t get enough of the chubby rapper and his horse dance.

It was a pop culture phenomenon that Korea could be proud for putting out, which leads us to the ongoing debate between Korean net users: How proud should a country be of its culture?

Currently there is a movement on the internet in Korea telling people to stop asking foreigners if they know who PSY is or if they’re aware of kimchi at every possible moment and just have faith that people abroad are aware and like Korean culture.

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Bon Jovi guitarist surprises fans with appearance on Japanese home shopping channel

Japan can be a surprising place sometimes. You can be just minding your own business when – Bam! – an American rock star pops out of nowhere. First we had Steven Tyler roaming the streets and discount shops of Osaka by himself taking pictures with delighted fans, and now, in a somewhat more disturbing appearance, Bon Jovi lead guitarist Riche Sambora suddenly appeared on Shop Channel!

Yes, following in the footsteps of fellow rock legends Joan Rivers and Liza Minnelli, Riche was out there selling his line of blouses to the women of Japan.

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Japanese government to begin “net fasting” research on students

According to a study by the Ministry of Health Labor and Welfare, 518,000 teenagers are “strongly addicted” to the internet. In the eyes of the ministry, such a level of addiction can lead to irregular sleep patterns and unhealthy eating habits.

However, in an age where online access can be found everywhere, an addiction to the net can be one of the hardest to kick. So the Japanese government, in what it calls “an urgent need for action,” is looking into the effectiveness of “net fasting” which, as the name suggests, is an extended break from any online activity.

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Monster Hunter Rathalos cake available for pre-order, comes with Epitaph Knife and 49 res points

So you’ve slain the mighty King of the Sky Rathalos in one or all of the Monster Hunter series of games, and you probably felt pretty satisfied the first time you did it. But something was missing, wasn’t it? Being simply a mere video game you couldn’t feast on the dragon’s meat like a true hunter should.

Now website Premium Bandai and cake maker Chara Shoku Net are offering monster hunters a chance to live that dream with the King of the Sky Rathalos Cake which comes with a knife in the likeness of the Epitaph Blade.

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Man photographed robbing ramen shop at knife point

Kurumaya Ramen is a peace-loving chain restaurant in Eastern Japan where you can enjoy a nice Kimchi Miso Ramen and the staff appear to be dressed like Super Mario. However, on 27 August it was the scene of an armed robbery.

Luckily in this day and age everyone is carrying a phone. As this potentially violent robber had his back to group of customers one of them pulled out their phone and did the first thing that came to mind in such an emergency.

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“Get down!” Man leaps onto train tracks to save fallen woman

On Sunday 25 August, a 58-year-old woman walking along the platform of Kanyama Station in Nagoya slipped and fell onto the tracks. The time was 3:50 p.m. and the six-car express train running from Toyohashi to Gifu was due to arrive at any moment.

Seeing this, another passenger waiting for his train also jumped onto the tracks to save the woman. However, possibly injured from her fall, the she was unable to move.  Watching the 3:50 train pull into the station and with no options left the man urgently called out to the woman to “get down!”

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Thirty-Six [ ________ ] of Mt. Fuji Project has a view of conserving the iconic mountain

Thirty-Six Views of Mt. Fuji is a series of 36 masterpieces by Katsushika Hokusai in the medium of ukiyoe woodblock printing. Even if the name doesn’t ring a bell, you certainly must have caught a glimpse of the iconic The Great Wave off Kanagawa (above) once or twice somewhere, or maybe you saw a Japanese passport encased in South Wind, Clear Sky.

A new non-profit organization with the aim of conserving the newly appointed World Heritage Site is using these famous pieces of art as the theme for a new fundraising campaign. However, instead of limiting themselves to woodblock prints, Thirty-Six [ _____ ] of Mt. Fuji Project is taking out the “Views” and opening it up to any form of artistic expression such as “Thirty-Six Songs of Mt. Fuji” or “Thirty-Six Sweets of Mt. Fuji”.

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Man arrested for stealing 200 bicycle seats for their “scent of a woman”

It’s been nearly three days since we last reported on the arrest of a sexual deviant inventing a new way to get himself arrested by throwing pee at young women. So we’re clearly long overdue for another guy pushing the envelope of creepy crime.

On 24 August, Kanagawa Prefectural Police picked up Joji Kondo for stealing three seats from women’s electric bicycles in a housing complex at around 4:00 in the morning. After searching Kondo’s home they uncovered a further 200 seats.

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Colossal hovercraft crashes pleasant day at the beach in Russia

Who doesn’t love a nice Sunday at the beach? It’s that one day of the week when we can all kick back and soak up some rays while listening to the relaxing sound of waves lapping against the shore.

At least some of us can while many other people still have to work on Sundays, including those in the Russian Navy who were doing a training exercise. However, it would appear this time they decided to make a detour and sneak their enormous hovercraft onto a locally popular beach on the Baltic Sea for some fun in the sun of their own.

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Exploding toilet in China leads to explosion of puns on the net

On the evening of 4 August, the Liu family returned home at around 9:00pm to the smell of something burning. Thinking the house might be on fire they began to inspect from room to room but found nothing aside from some water dripping from the ceiling.

“I wonder if someone put it out” someone said as they made their way to the second floor still seeing no sign of a fire aside from the stench. Then upon opening the door to the bathroom, they saw the devastation.

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