Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 153)

Lady’s iPhone cries when charging after not being used for a long time

Master Blaster
Sep 15, 2013
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These days technology seems to be getting more and more closed off from the consumers that use it. Back in the day you easily could pull out a screwdriver and fix the gear on your Walkman by yourself after it chewed up your new jack swing mix-tape.

Now you wouldn’t know how to pop open an iPhone, even if you wanted to void the warranty. This is why problems like this lady’s have got me baffled. In her video titled The Case of My iPhone Gasping While Charging After a Long Time we can watch an iPhone make sounds not unlike Police Academy’s Michael Winslow when charging from 0%.

Dunkin’ Donuts Thailand causing stir with new line of black donuts

Master Blaster
Sep 15, 2013

The Thailand office of American doughnut chain, Dunkin’ Donuts, has been unrolling a unique line of doughnuts since August of this year. All of these 27 doughnuts have one thing in common: They’re black as midnight.

But that’s just the tip of this ebony iceberg. We’ve seen black food hit the scene before but these doughnuts took a year in the making as Dunkin’ Donuts carefully selected what they thought were the best combination of ingredients. What they came up with is interesting to say the least. Some flavors will make you drool, some will make you cringe, but they’ll all make you interested.

Snake being pickled to create healing liquor awakens after 3 months and bites woman

Master Blaster
Sep 12, 2013

Shejiu is a traditional type of liquor that is made by pickling a venomous snake in a bottle of alcohol such as baijiu. The venom of the snake is neutralized by the liquor and, thanks to the essences of the serpent, is said to have energizing and healing properties.

It is widely drunk in various parts of Asia to treat problems or maintain health, but for one unlucky woman in one of China’s most northeastern cities, brewing the drink ended in a trip to the hospital when the snake awoke after three months and attacked.

Master Blaster
Sep 12, 2013

With the unveiling of the next iteration of iPhones, the iPhone 5S and the iPhone 5C a lot has been said about the iPhone 5C’s official protective case. I won’t bore you with all the details, but the words “aesthetic train wreck” tend to get bandied about.

People in Japan, however, get it very much. They see the brilliant functionality that helps them with a daily chore which an app could never fulfill. It helps them garnish their dishes with grated daikon, for instance…

Master Blaster
Sep 11, 2013

Takahiro Ikeda is a 23-year-old pro BMX rider who defeated many opponents and overcame numerous challenges to win a world championship in 2010. If that weren’t enough his good looks have also earned him several TV appearances.

However, last July he had to face off not with other skilled opponents, nor with the lights and cameras of the media, but with himself as he attempted to set a Guinness World Record in the “megaspin” – a move in which the rider spins around on their back wheel without touching the ground with their body or other wheel.

Master Blaster
Sep 9, 2013

Jiufen is a well-known tourist attraction in Taiwan. Many Japanese tourists especially have flocked to this location after rumors circulated that it was the inspiration behind the hit animated film Spirited Away. Even though those rumors now appear to have been mistaken the place still draws visitors with its colorful lights and rolling hills.

While it’s largely agreed that Jiufen is beautiful, our reporter Kuzo had his sights on another destination. A place largely obscured by the bright lights of Jiufen but equally beautiful. He was on his way to the old gold mining town of Jinguashi.

Master Blaster
Sep 9, 2013

Recently popping up on Twitter, a supermarket ad declaring a unique event has received a lot of attention here in Japan. However, as the person who originally tweeted it comments, this advert may also be a “premonition of disaster.”

Master Blaster
Sep 8, 2013

A tragic scene unfolded in a supermarket in Kurashiki, Okayama last Thursday as 32-year-old Shinji Kuroki went on a mass poking and squishing rage inside. Details of the total damage are sketchy but we received reports that packs of meat had holes poked in them with a finger and loaves of bread have been seen lying on the ground, smashed in cold blood.

Don’t piss away your money! Use Pee Trajectory Corrector!

Master Blaster
Sep 8, 2013

As we reported in August, the city of Shenzhen, China enacted a pee-control policy in its public toilets. Anyone caught peeing outside of the appropriate receptacle can face fines up to 100 yuan (US$16).

But when life hands you urination regulations, the true entrepreneur makes sweet golden urination regulation-aiding merchandise! That’s just what two opportunists did with their Pee Trajectory Corrector. Look for them conveniently on sale outside of a public washroom in Shenzhen.

Man walks 1,400km home after getting mugged on the other end of Japan

Master Blaster
Sep 8, 2013

The mother of a 25-year-old man was stunned to see him arrive home after he was declared missing for several days. When she last saw him he left his hometown of Sendai to attend a national trading card game competition in Kitakyushu city on 23 August.

However, when he never made his return flight on 25 August, she got worried. It turned out that her son was robbed of his wallet and mobile phone and spent the following 11 days traveling back to Sendai on foot. Upon his return the son said, “I never wanted to make a fuss. I’m sorry to everyone I inconvenienced.”

Man in Taiwan arrested for… polishing other people’s cars

Master Blaster
Sep 7, 2013

Recently in Taiwan, authorities finally apprehended a man who had been terrorizing a Taipei community for an untold stretch of time. This possible terrorist had been brazenly walking from car to a car with a cloth and wiping them down until they sparkled. The fiend!

Thankfully, a brave citizen saw their own car being shined by the man and reported him to the proper authorities. Unfortunately, the people of Taipei only had a brief respite from the horrors he unleashed as police released him shortly afterwards.

Japan Airlines offers free guitar boxes to ease travelling musicians’ worries

Master Blaster
Sep 7, 2013

Taking a flight with a musical instrument can be nerve-racking. There are a number of ways for your precious gear to be damaged, be it by air pressure and temperature changes, or the risk of it being manhandled or even lost by unbaggage handlers.

Flying with a guitar can be especially daring as they can sometimes be too big for carry-on baggage and often require DIY protection methods like loosening the strings and wrapping a T-shirt around the head. Thankfully, Japan Airlines (JAL) has heard these worries and responded by lending out a protective case for your beloved acoustic or electric.

A century of culture: Isao Tomita and Hatsune Miku pay musical tribute to author Kenji Miyazawa

Master Blaster
Sep 6, 2013

This year marks the 80th anniversary of Kenji Miyazawa’s Death, and as a tribute to the celebrated writer a revival of the Ihatov Symphony was performed in his hometown of Hanamaki City, Iwate Prefecture on 29 August. The symphony was composed by Isao Tomita, a true originator of electronic music in Japan and features Hatsune Miku the iconic vocaloid who embodies the trail blazed by Tomita decades ago.

Master Blaster
Sep 5, 2013

For many of us the smell of a new car is as sweet as a rose named victory, but for an increasing number of people it smells like a toxic dump. Those people may be on to something too, as there is also an increasing interest in the possible risks of that once beloved aroma.

Sure you could smoke cigars while your soaking wet dog rolls around in the back seat to get rid of that smell, but that’s time-consuming and only masks the potentially hazardous chemicals causing the scent. That’s why Japanese chemical company, Tosoh, are well on their way to producing an environmentally-friendly way to rid your car of its new smell.

Master Blaster
Sep 4, 2013

The movie Pacific Rim has been getting a lot of love around the actual Asian Pacific Rim recently, with China especially talking about it, though perhaps not for the best reasons. Japan too, being a lover of giant monster movies, has taken to Guillermo del Toro’s work, with praise from game makers Fumito Ueda (Ico, Shadow of the Colossus) and Hideo Kojima (Metal Gear, Zone of Enders) and manga artists Go Nagai (Marzinger Z) and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto (Neon Genesis Evangelion).

Also, in honor of the film a video was posted to YouTube titled “Pacific Rim Main Theme 8bit Arrange” which along with NES-tech rendition of the movie’s main theme gives us a nostalgic intro scene to what could have been a great video game adaptation of Pacific Rim. There are even some cute sprite versions of the Jaegers!

Master Blaster
Sep 4, 2013

Well, it looks as if the people of Kansai may have been jerked around yet again. One month after the Japan Meteorological Agency sent out a blanket alarm of an imminent earthquake in Nara, astronomer Yoshio Kushida made the grim prediction of a large-scale quake as early as 6 September.

Now, in the wake of intense media attention, Kushida’s PHP Institute has made a follow-up report stating that until the end of September “there is no possibility of an earthquake.”

Master Blaster
Sep 4, 2013

China is increasingly becoming a real-life Maximum Overdrive with machines and items such as mobile phones, toilets, bus windows, buses, cans of cola, and cigarettes have all lashed out at their fleshy masters.

And now, at around 2:00 a.m. in Fujian Province, the automated teller machine of a credit union exploded blowing out nearby windows but injuring none. It would appear the joke was on this machine as it didn’t know most people sleep at that time of day.

Master Blaster
Sep 4, 2013

After last month’s false alarm of a large earthquake over our mobile phones, Nara and surrounding area residents’ blood pressures are finally getting back to normal. Well, don’t put away those paper bags yet. Now there’s another reason to worry. Research out of Yatsugadake Nanroku Observatory is suggests that we can expect a major earthquake of at least magnitude 7 to hit somewhere in the Kansai area from next week.

Earthquake-prone Japan is no stranger to proclamations of doom so it’s hard to get too worked up. However, the head of the observatory, Yoshio Kushida has made this prediction with a truly unique method that if correct could revolutionize earthquake prediction. Rather than looking down at the ground, Kushida suspects we can detect earthquakes better by watching the skies.

Master Blaster
Sep 3, 2013

It’s an old stereotype that all East Asians know martial arts and one that’s far from the truth. However, you never know when someone you least expect is going to pop out some taekwondo, karate, judo, or, in the words of James Brown, ka-razy.

Hiroshi Ebina learned that the hard way when a 21-year-old female station attendant he got mixed up with took him down in one move having good old-fashioned judo under her presumably black belt.