dating (Page 10)
Looking for romance in Japan? Learn from our experience! Here a few things we’ve learned from foreigners who’ve dated in Japan.
Even as the world of otaku becomes an increasingly co-ed one, many of Japan’s obsessive fans of anime, video games, and other forms of pop culture struggle in finding a romantic partner. That’s where Aeullura, a matchmaking company specializing in konkatsu (marriage-minded dating) events for otaku, comes in.
But conventional speed-dating can be intimidating for even ordinarily outgoing individuals, let alone otaku who might very well spend more of their free time watching fictional characters than interacting with other people. Add in the pressure of a ticking clock, and some might not feel confident in their ability to walk up to an attractive stranger, make a good impression, and then find out more about them.
That’s why Aeullura is flipping that sequence of events for its upcoming otaku matchmaking party by giving the speed daters access to a wealth of information about one another, and even letting them communicate online, before putting them all in the same room together.
Despite the fact that plenty of tall guys can be found walking around Japan these days, it’s still true that the national average height for an adult Japanese male is 170cm (5’5″), which, compared to the figures for countries like the US, UK and Australia (all around 177cm, or 5’10”) might seem a little on the shorter side for some.
However, it’s not all bad news for shorter guys looking to find love in Japan—many Japanese women actually really like shorter men, and here are some of the reasons they gave as to why they like their fellas fun-sized.
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, dating is hard. This is very true in Japan as well, where a survey in 2013 showed that many Japanese aren’t really dating. Also, being a foreigner and trying to date in a country that is 98.5% ethnically Japanese makes it an even more daunting task for some.
But fear not! Though statistics may not be in your favor, there are certainly those that not only want to date, but date people who aren’t Japanese. Earlier this year we focused on what women thought about mixed-race relationships, but now it’s time for Japanese men to share their ideas about what they would like, as well as what challenges they would expect with a person who’s not Japanese.
As in most countries, magazines aimed at young adults in Japan spend a lot of time talking about the opposite sex. Just as publications aimed at men often wax poetic about their image of the ideal woman, so too do women’s magazines write up collections of traits of desirable guys.
But one recent list has Japanese Internet users scratching their heads over its oddly specific list that includes such minutiae as foot size and social media preference.
Although online dating services allow you to peruse profiles of potential paramours from the comfort of your home, they can also be a prime opportunity for fraudsters who pray on the lonely. Last month, for example, we took a look at a ring of dating sites which claimed 2.7 million “users,” only one of whom turned out to be an actual female.
Thankfully, a man from northeastern Japan who joined a dating site actually got to go out with a real girl, and probably thought she was quite the catch, seeing as how she’s decades younger than him and a medical student. Regardless of whether he was looking for something serious or just a fun dinner out, we imagine he was having a great time right up until she drugged him right there in the restaurant and robbed him blind.
Live overseas for long enough, and you’ll start to experience reverse culture shock on your visits home. On my last trip back to L.A., I was surprised to see how popular beards have gotten in the States, and judging from the foreign travelers I see here in Japan, they’re just as trendy throughout western Europe.
As someone whose Arabic ancestry means every day is a battle against a phalanx of facial hair, I have to say I can see an upside to this new golden era for beards. But, as with any decision a man makes, it’s important to first ask yourself that critical question, “Will this make women think I look cool?” To help answer that question, today we’re looking at the results of a survey asking Japanese women whether or not they like a guy with a beard.
Sometimes, girls say the darndest things… but you’d be surprised at the variety of utterances that get Japanese men’s eyebrows twitching in rage. We rounded up some of our Japanese male writers to compile a list of 30 things Japanese girls say that really grind Japanese guys’ gears!
Any guesses what made the list? Trust us, some of these came straight out of left field.
The Japanese language takes a lot of cues from English when it comes to talking about romance. For example, “kisu”, the corrupted pronunciation of “kiss,” is about 100 times more common than “kuchitzuke,” the purely Japanese word for locking lips. Found the love of your life? Then it’s time to puropozu (propose), and when your bride walks down the aisle, she’ll probably be wearing a uedingu doresu (wedding dress).
Still, sometimes Japanese goes its own way, and while “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” are pretty readily understood, the indigenous terms kare and kanojo are much more widely used. And every now and again, the two languages get mixed together to describe something in the Japanese dating scene, such as with the newly coined phrase uiru kare, or “will boyfriend.”
Dating is never easy, is it? Going out and meeting strangers and talking to them can be painful, awkward, and downright terrifying. Fortunately, Internet dating sites have helped us cut through the trial-and-error process to find people we have deep, personal connections with — or, at least, who swiped right.
Unfortunately, online dating is also ripe for abuse, exploitation, and scams. If ever you needed a cautionary tale for being careful about who you give your money to, this group of dating site executives who ran multiple scam sites should suffice. Of the 2.7 millions users on the site, only one was a woman. The rest of the “women” the male members were chatting with online were all paid fakes!
In modern-day Japan, entering into the marriage or dating market without any prior experience puts ladies at a serious disadvantage from the start. With many women living with their parents until they get married, and with people getting married later in life, there’s a rise of women who remain virgins into their thirties.
Now, there’s apparently a service whereby women can hire someone to take their virginity in order to raise their market appeal to future potential husbands…
Japan is a country that values fiscal responsibility and economic security, and that can influence how people judge a possible romantic partner. For example, we previously looked at a survey in which an overwhelming number of women said they’d rather date a man who’s ugly but rich than a guy who’s handsome and unemployed.
That doesn’t mean that just any old job will do, though. A new poll asked Japanese women what jobs were deal-breakers for a potential boyfriend, and the resulting list includes some surprisingly high-paying professions.
With the prevalence of public transportation in urban Japan, going out on the town means having to lug any belongs you’re taking with you around for the day. This adds a bit of a complication for couples out on a date. Assuming things are going well and the lovebirds are spending several hours together, at some point the woman’s purse is going to start feeling heavy, but how many Japanese guys are willing to step up and shoulder the task of carrying their girl’s bag for her?
In support of the “Project to Pierce the Moon With the Spear of Longinus,” which is the fastest-growing crowdfunding project in Japan, Linkbal is hosting an Evangelion singles mixer at the Planetarium Starry Cafe at Haneda Airport. It’s the perfect chance to gaze at the stars, all while finding your perfect otaku soulmate.
Recently, Japanese media has coined a new term: “pro girlfriend.” While it might sound like a freshly-minted euphemism for women working for Japan’s highly specialized titillation/borderline prostitution providers, it’s actually pretty benign, as pro girlfriends are women who date or marry men from the professional entertainment or sports worlds, without being part of those industries themselves.
One reason they’ve captured the imaginations of celebrity-watchers is because of their ability to turn the heads of high-profile eligible bachelors, such as actors Hidetoshi Niishijima, Tetsuji Tamayama, Ryuta Sato, all of whom recently married their pro girlfriends. Just as compelling a question, though, is how pro girlfriends manage to meet their famous beaus?
Poke deep enough into the corners of the Japanese service sector, and you’ll come across the class of businesses known as benri-ya. Literally meaning “convenience providers,” they exist to fill all the little needs that generally aren’t common or lucrative enough to have their own dedicated businesses. For example, female-run Support One offers personal shopping, dog walking, PC setup, and even substitute grave visitors.
Support One is also willing to help customers with white lies that make their daily life easier, such as providing companions who’ll pretend to be your friends or family members at social functions. Now, the company is expanding its catalogue of social trickery with its newest service, dispatching a hot guy to make your boyfriend jealous.
They may be too young to be thinking about dating, but it seems that elementary school girls can still tell you exactly what they DON’T want to see in a guy!
When the subject of how men can attract women in Japan comes up, there are some pretty dubious sources of advice out there. Rather than apply twisted logic to gain twisted insights on how to pull women closer to them, guys have a better chance of success by putting their efforts into becoming the kind of people women are drawn to without any special prodding.
But what exactly do women want? Well, that’s an answer that of course varies from person to person, but if you’re interested in playing the percentages, a recent poll of women in Japan indicates four things to strive for.
For Japanese women on a mission to get married to the perfect guy it’s important to know what to look for in a man, but there’s a lot of women out there who don’t know if they’re picking up on the right things. This quiz from a Japanese TV show is designed to help. There are nine simple questions with two possible answers for each. One answer is the good trait to look for while the other is the one to avoid. Do you know what you should be looking for in a potential husband?
Note: Take this quiz with a huge helping of salt.
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