The steakhouse chain Ikinari! Steak! is all the rage in Japan right now thanks to its unique method of cooking your steak immediately after you tell them how you want it. Combined with standing tables, it provides regular steakhouse quality meat at speeds that rival fast food joints.

It got our staff to thinking about how the speedy service of Ikinari! Steak! is so popular. If we, too, could get steak into the mouths of customers within just a few seconds of them ordering, then maybe we could get into the restaurant game and be even more successful.

And so, research into such a steak service was underway, but as often is the case with our research, things somehow devolved into a cheesy porno starring one of our male writers in a bikini.

To assist us in this experiment, we enlisted the help of Sanko, an up-and-coming idol with her sights set on representing Japan during the 2020 Olympics opening ceremony. We had told her what was in store nor did we specify a dress code, so she showed up in a bikini. Not the best choice for speed eating a steak, but there was no stopping this freight train of science.

First, we had Sanko enjoy some conversation and fruity appetizers while Mr. Sato hides under the table and secretly cooks her steak. As her table is cleared, Sanko thinks she’ll have a moment to rest before the main course. But just then Mr. Sato springs out from under the table and is ready to feed her some piping hot meat in 8.6 seconds flat. That target time was chosen due to its similarity to the popular comedy act 8.6 second bazooka.

For safety reasons, patrons of our steakhouse must recline their body and raise their legs while dining. We may have to install stirrups for this but those details are far from being worked out yet. Sanko would just have to tough this one out.

At first Sanko was frightened by the sheer speed of service shouting “Eh?! Eh?! Scary!” However, as the savory flavor of the lightly seasoned steak took hold, Sanko’s tension melted away. She had given herself over to the meat as it came fast and furious straight to her mouth.

After the whirlwind of a lunch was finished, Sanko’s face glistened from the splattering of steak juices that couldn’t land in her mouth and remained pooled in her face stubble. It was messy business but in a way, that was part of the fun.

Server Mr. Sato sat patiently with a satisfied air of having done a good job and lit up a cigarette. Meanwhile Sanko shared her feelings about the whole experience.

“Eating steak immediately after ordering was a thrilling experience. I never had anything like it before, so it was really great. I loved getting steak shoved in my face. It was delicious!”

We think we hit onto something, but more sexy research will be required. While guys might prefer the efficient standing experience of Ikinari! Steak! women might go more for having a handsome devil like Mr. Sato hand feed them personally.

Anyway, success in the restaurant business will have to wait for another day. In the meantime we’ll be supplementing our income by releasing this experiment as a food fetish video. Look for it in a desperate adult video store near you!

Original article by Nakano
Model: Sanko (GOGO Girls No.1)
Photos and video © RocketNews24
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