Playing God with French fries can have some unexpected consequences.

It was a relatively quiet afternoon in the office the other day when SoraNews24’s boss and founder Yoshio stretched back in his chair, clasped his hands behind his head, and said: “I want to mix all the French fries from fast food restaurants and make the strongest fries.”

It wasn’t the oddest idea we’d ever heard in the office, but it still came as a surprise to everyone — mostly because, after all our culinary adventures, we couldn’t believe we’d never thought to try this before.

Bowing down to our leader for his innovative idea, we all raised our hands at the same time to offer our services for the task of taste-testing. However, this was a job for Yoshio, who selected reporter Ahiruneko as his partner in crime, and after they visited the top fast food chains in the city…

▼ …they returned with their bounty!

Before we get down to the actual tasting, let’s first introduce the big names that will be combining forces for this epic French fry creation.

▼ McDonald’s (330 yen [US$2.49])

▼ Lotteria (285 yen)

▼ KFC (400 yen)

▼ Burger King (300 yen)

▼ Mos Burger (330 yen)

▼ First Kitchen (304 yen)

▼ Freshness Burger (340 yen)

▼ Dom Dom Hamburger (320 yen)

All the fries above are the “medium” size option at their respective chains, except for KFC and Mos Burger, who only sell small and large sizes, so the ones they picked up there were large sizes.

This would add even more girth to the meal, and when they put all eight varieties together in a ziplock bag, Yoshio and Ahiruneko’s smiles widened and their eyes popped out of their heads, like two naughty boys in a cartoon caper.

There was only one thing left to do… 

▼…shake!

Showing his dedication to the project, Ahiruneko shook the bag until he could shake no more, ensuring all the different seasonings were well mixed together.  

Ahiruneko then dutifully poured the fries out into a tray before handing the feast to his boss.

▼ “It’s the strongest potato!!!!

Holding back the urge to yell “Fries, assemble!” like some sort of potato avenger, Yoshio stared lovingly at the fries, with all the affection of a father cradling his newborn baby.

So how do they taste? Yoshio put one into his mouth, let out a little cry of delight, and then shoved more fries into his gob, one after the other, with increasing speed.

▼ One at a time just wasn’t enough, so he grabbed a fork…

▼ …and shovelled them into his mouth, living out his dreams of drowning in fries, where every gulp for air was rewarded with flavour.

The shovelling-lots-in-at-a-time method actually made the fries taste even better, especially as they were all different shapes and sizes, with wedges. shoestring and thick-cut varieties in the mix.

Strangely, though, Yoshio was able to pinpoint each fry in his mouth — the KFC and Burger King varieties were about the same thickness, but he could intuitively tell them apart. It was the same with the McDonald’s fries, which, despite their comparatively small size, stood out with their distinctive taste.

In fact, it was the McDonald’s chip that was the most prominent of all, with its defiant flavour rising above all the others for attention. Who knew this feast would actually make each individual fry stand out rather than blend in? It was a result neither Yoshio nor Ahiruneko had expected, but it still made for a suitably satisfying meal, and they recommend you give it a try if you ever have the chance — and the stomach — for it!

Photos ©SoraNews24
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