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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 178)

Rabid Bidders Paid Up To US$12,000 For a Pair Yubari Kings

Master Blaster
May 21, 2012
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For the first time this season the legendary Yubari King melons have gone to market and the bidding was fierce to get a taste. Yubari Kings are sometimes referred to as the “Cadillac of melons” for their beautiful design, sweet taste, and exorbitant prices. In this instance one pair of melons fetched a winning bid of 1,000,000 yen (US$12,500).

Lakeside Resort Accentuates their Scenic Beauty with Some Freakishly Huge Funhouses

Master Blaster
May 21, 2012

A lot of older people complain that the younger generation spends far too much time on their Z-Boxes and Nintendo Wee-Wees. It’s not hard to imagine why when younger people are presented with fantasy worlds full of castles and dungeons they aren’t too keen to go to the farmer’s market.

Finally, Sagami Lake Resort is doing something about it by adding two colossal real world attractions to tempt kids to give their thumbs a rest and take their legs out for a spin instead.

Afraid You’d Look Ridiculous Singing Around Other People? Here, Put This Big Plastic Cup Over Your Mouth

Master Blaster
May 19, 2012

Everyone likes to sing, at least a little bit. What most of us don’t realize though is that about 0.01% of the population can actually do it well. The rest of us end up bugging the hell out of anyone within earshot.

So for all the neighbors and roommates of people who live life like a cast member of Glee we present Noiseless KaraOK!

All the Joy and Splendor of Finding a Cockroach in Your Home Can Now Be Felt Anytime with Roachbot

Master Blaster
May 16, 2012

You know that warm feeling you get when you spot a cockroach in the corner of your kitchen. How about when you pick up the garbage only to find one of those magical little critters scurry away in that adorable way they do?

The problem is that these precious moments are rare and even more fleeting as roaches quickly run into some crack in the wall. Although you may feel comforted knowing that there are thousands more living inside that wall, it still doesn’t match the pure elation of meeting one of these black bundles of joy face to face.

Remember When Your Mom Said “You Could Lose An Eye”? She Forgot the Part Where You Could Also Get US$150,000

Master Blaster
May 11, 2012

Back in 2008, at an Osaka elementary school there was an incident involving a 3rd grade student who smashed two bottles of milk together during lunch time. As a result, the bottles shattered sending a shard of glass into the child’s eye and leaving him disabled. It’s certainly a terrible accident but what followed had turned the public’s sympathy into outrage.

Japanese Foam Jockey Gives Drinkers Beer Heads That Cause Westerners to Froth at the Mouth

Master Blaster
May 8, 2012

Recently we ran a report on how Japanese netizens expressed their outrage over the way a Korean pop star chooses to eat her instant noodles. Now it seems that the international outrage shoe is on the other foot as Japan has drawn the western stink eye over how they like to enjoy their beer.

At the center of this controversy is an innocent advert for Jokki Hour (a punny mistranslation of “Foam Jockey”). Jokki Hour is actually a cleverly designed beer mug that has a lever attatched. When you push the lever the cup creates a head on the beer. Not a bad idea in itself, but I think it’s the advertisement that turns westerners off. Let’s take a look.

Oh La La! McDonald’s Looks to Add a Touch of Class with Professional Baristas Brewing Custom Cups of Joe

Master Blaster
May 7, 2012

Having recently opened a location in the ultra-trendy Harajuku-Omotesando shopping area of Tokyo, McDonald’s Japan is brewing a new strategy with an extra shot of sophistication.

Don’t worry; it’s not the rebirth of that lame Mac Tonight moon man who played cheesy lounge music on the piano in the 80’s. This time McDonald’s will be serving up freshly made custom cups of coffee by real baristas.

Self-Described “Sushidols” are Serving Fans Songs with their Wasabi

Master Blaster
May 6, 2012

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HeU0t_HzSo?version=3&rel=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1&fs=1&hl=en-US&autohide=2&wmode=transparent&w=640&h=360%5D

It’s hard making it as an idol group in Japan. In this business thousands of girls and boys are struggling to find their niche be it with snaggleteeth, clean towels, or chainsaws.

This time RocketNews would like to present a girl group who have taken a more fishy road to success, by pitching in at their local sushi shop. Every Sunday you can catch up-and-coming Idol Class do a free concert then sell you some octopus after the show, in what they call Sushidols.

【Brain Teaser Time】 Can You Guess What These Cute Little Guys Are Used For?

Master Blaster
May 6, 2012

**SPOILER ALERT**
If you are not ready to see the answer then scroll gently, the answer is at the bottom.

Our modern world is so full of useful products that we are often very cynical of new inventions. In simpler times, when whoopee cushions, pogo sticks, and pet rocks could be considered “cool” much maligned developments like spray-on hair and Mr. T’s Flavor Wave Turbo Oven may have found their place.

However now they are simply lost amidst a sea of gadgets that never took off. As Ron Popiel might say; they were set, and they were forgotten. Such is the case of these little items in the photo above. Though they’ve been around for over a decade we at RocketNews dare you to guess what they do.

Custom-Made Canine “Cake Meals” Abandon Milk and Eggs for Chicken and Peas and Feature Your Dog’s Likeness

Master Blaster
May 2, 2012

What do you get for that dog in your life that has everything? Dog Diner has the answer with custom made cakes featuring your prized pooch’s puss. And beyond just a special treat these cakes will help keep your pet healthy.

The Ultimate Camping Chair Capable of Holding Over 700 Times Its Own Weight

Master Blaster
May 1, 2012

As the warm weather has finally started to kick in, most of us are looking to get reacquainted with the great outdoors. But for many camping is a new experience and getting the right equipment can make or break their overall enjoyment. Sure you can buy a bulky trailer full of equipment but who want to use the time, money, and muscle power for all that.

Camping equipment brand Doppelganger Outdoor has released a series of lightweight chairs and tables ideally portable and durable for outdoor use. The pièce de résistance of this collection is the Ultra Light Micro Chair, more affectionately known as C1-54.

McDonald’s Lures Country’s Best and Brightest By Offering a Free Small Fries for Job Applicants

Master Blaster
Apr 30, 2012

Good news for anyone who’s out of money and food! From now until May 13th anyone in Japan who applies for a job and gets an interview at McDonalds will receive a complimentary small order of fries…

Okay, by now you’ve probably recovered from the shock of this amazing news. According to their recent banner ad which reads “Let’s get started. McCrew: Until 5/13 all interviewees will receive a present of a free small fries.” this is no joke.

What Ever Happened to the Shower? One-Person Karaoke Booths Are a Huge Success

Master Blaster
Apr 30, 2012

Last November we reported on a karaoke booth for one to three people in Akihabara called Choi Kara, which was becoming a big hit in game centers. Around the same time, another company opened One Kara, “the one-person private karaoke room.” Similar to the Choi Kara in many ways One Kara also lets anyone sing their hearts out without fear of judgment.

Emergency Medical Workers in Kyoto Express Outrage at the Media in the Wake of Fatal Accident Involving School Children

Master Blaster
Apr 26, 2012

In Kyoto, a tragic and fatal incident unfolded involving an unlicensed driver who ran their car into a crowd of people consisting of elementary school children and a pregnant woman. It’s one of those horrible accidents that bring out the deepest hurt, shock and anger in all of us.

So it’s no surprise to hear people lash out at whomever or whatever is responsible but an especially scathing commentary has sprung from a surprising source. Tajima Emergency & Critical Care Medical Center (TECCMC) who had sent an air ambulance to the accident scene, released an uncharacteristically harsh attack not on the driver of the vehicle but on the mass media outlets for their intrusive reporting on the premises in an article titled; Do people in the media have hearts?

Learn How to Sleep in a Toilet Stall Like a Pro

Master Blaster
Apr 26, 2012

With the warmer weather coming we are bound to have those days where a particularly heavy lunch or wild night before turns us into zombies by 1:45pm. The question is what do you do?

Many of us plug through the rest of the afternoon for fear that dozing at our desks would land us out of a job. Some among us have pondered the idea of catching some sleep atop the toilet; the only place you’re guaranteed some privacy in an office environment. However, many are turned off by fears or stigmas that might be associated with sleeping in the crapper.

Then there are a select few – 30% according to a recent survey of middle-aged businessmen – who have the guts to go that extra mile and take a nap sitting on the can so that they can return to work refreshed. RocketNews24 would like to now share some of their various tactics, so that you too can embark on the noble art of “toilet napping.”

Veggie Sushi Will Win Over All Your Senses in the End

Master Blaster
Apr 24, 2012

For many vegetarians and vegans, Japan can be a difficult place to get something to eat. Sushi is nearly completely off limits for those who forego meat, and very few Japanese people would consider California rolls real sushi, especially the chef of Vegetable Sushi Potager.

Vegetable Sushi Potager is a restaurant located in the glitzy Roppongi Hills Area of Tokyo is serving up a full course meal based entirely on vegetables. I was told that although its presentation is high quality, like a lot of vegetarian cooking the deliciousness of it doesn’t hit you over the head right away. It takes time to build bit by bit from the bottom of your heart as go through each course culminating in a new understanding of the word “delight”. That’s some big praise so I was understandably skeptical.

Why is Japan Turning Blue at Night? More and More Streets Being Draped in Peacefully Bizarre Azure Lights

Master Blaster
Apr 19, 2012

A growing number of people all across Japan have been noticing their neighborhoods getting a little jazzier these days. If you live in Japan and haven’t seen them yet then just wait. But why have cities all over the country been trading in their traditional yellowish lights for the blue light special?

Visit the US Navy Ship Held Prisoner for Over 30 Years in North Korea

Master Blaster
Apr 16, 2012

In 2012, a Japanese man was allowed to take a supervised tour of the secretive country of North Korea, we’ve reported some of his observations about their fine dining, public transportation, and more. And now we bring you coverage of one of the most unique tourist spots in the world: the only currently captured United States Navy Ship, the USS Pueblo.

Our correspondent’s tour guide and government appointed escort took him to the ship moored in Pyongyang where the guide told him “even today, America continues to beg the ship be returned.”